Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Really should have pooed earlier.

You know how it is, you've got shit to do, no time to poo! But it's up to you, and I know what you do, I do it too, you let it stew and when your guts turn to goo that's when you poo, when there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Maybe I do this too often. I can feel the poo, but I'm like, "nah, I can hold it". And I hold it, but near the end of what I'm doing I'm not feeling so great. Especially if it's a work out. You really, REALLY, don't want to be doing squats with a poo in your guts.

My girlfriend has strange habits when it comes to poos. She waits until she needs to poo, like RIGHTNOW!! but it just takes her seconds, a minute at most. Usually it takes her about the same amount of time to pee as it does to poo. I find that strange. She claims that they're often quite large, but come out quickly.

The only time I've seen one of her poos, ugh. I had pooed and then gone for a shower. I hadn't flushed because I didn't want the shower water to be screwed up by the filling of the tank. Then my girlfriend comes into the bathroom because she has to poo. I told her to go ahead and flush "I can take it", but she said, "no, it's okay" and she pooed on top of my poo! When I came out I had a look. it wasn't pretty. Her poo was dark, looking like chocolate fudge ice cream, and the combined mass of our two poos meant that hers was poking up out of the water. I can almost smell it now. Real, classic shit smell. Like the smell you imagine when you watch Two Girls One Cup. The smell that makes you want to retch. and it came from my cute little girlfriend. Wow.

Of course that's what this blog is all about: A reminder that Everybody Poos. I do it and you do it too!

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