Thursday, April 30, 2009

Nice and easy beer shit

This poo started off with a single long cable, but after that things got pretty soft and yucky. After the exam yesterday I had a roast beef sandwich from home for lunch but didn't really eat anything else for the rest of the afternoon.

My friend was having a bbq at his house in the east end, but it wasn't until dinner time and I had nothing to do so I just headed out on my bike and rode out to the beaches for the afternoon. Ate a snickers and drank a can of coke.

At the bbq my friend made some amazing burgers and I had four beers (two of which were kind of big) so I was fairly drunky by the time I left. I slept really well, but a little too long this morning. So this was my morning beer shit even through it wasn't until almost 2. But as a beer shit it wasn't too bad. Slid out easy, which isn't always nice, but it was all right.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Big fat Poops!!

I don't usually have craps like this do I? I mean, you can just have a look in the archives if you don't believe me. That's a big fat poo over there. Firm, not squishy, not soupy. 

Have a close look and you'll even see the seeds and grains and things from the 12 Grain bread I've been eating lately. In fact, when I wiped there was a little dark seed on the toilet paper. Kind of gross. But I kind of like stuff like that. Don't ask why. I have no idea.

Oh yeah, notice the time on this one. 8:09am. I had an exam at 9 and I'd left the house way too early, so I was already at school when this guy came out. Which was good, because I wouldn't have wanted to have that pressing on me while I wrote the exam.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

2 piles of poop -- Nice weather.



Was a good day today. No exams, nothing to do until 12:30, so I slept in a bit, listening to the radio. Had a poo. Took my time in the bathroom. 

I rode downtown to pump my girlfriend's bike tires with air. They lost air over the winter but she doesn't have a pump of her own so I took care of it while she was at work. The weather was gorgeous today, although a little too warm. We bought me a new jacket on the weekend, but it was even too hot for that. Kind of disappointing. I wonder if I'll even have a chance to wear it.

Did a bit of studying at school before my meeting and drank some coffee after the meeting. That's when the second poo came. It was funny too because I was in the accessibility bathroom at school playing sodoku on my phone and taking a crap when my girlfriend called. So we had a nice little chat while she unlocked her bike and I squeeze them out. We have a strange relationship. Strange, except that it's so perfect.

Sore back, but not so much now.

My lower back was really killing me yesterday, and to a lesser extent the day before. I'm going to blame my studying habit. Lately what I've been doing is sitting cross legged on my bed, hunched over my books. Really awful position to be in. I may have also slept funny the other night, which probably really fucked things up.

This morning though I foke up feeling mostly fine. No obligations at all today so I'm just studying for my last exam which is tomorrow. I should do pretty well, but I'm getting frustrated going through the materials. The course is supposed to be about How, but it's really just been What Is, if you know what I mean. I won't go into it.

Ate a peanut butter sandwich for lunch yesterday, drank a bunch of coffee and ate a roast beef sandwich. Didn't result in much this morning but I expect there'll be more later today. I probably won't blog it unless it's exceptional though.

My civilian alterego is now on twitter, which is interesting, but not as revolutionary as everyone seems to think. I'll probably have some thoughts on the subject, but it'll be too much trouble for me to update on there as well as on here. So you're just going to have to keep checking here for updates. Sorry folks.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

A little coke'll do ya

Yesterday was special in terms of food. I had an apple for breakfast, a little apple apparently from New Zealand, which was pretty good, but I might have preferred a McIntosh if at all possible. Oh well.

My girlfriend and I went out for a walk along Bloor St from the Annex to Yorkville in the beautiful weather. it was wonderful and we had lunch at one of our favourite places Okonomi House on Charles street. I got the bacon Okonomi Yaki, which tasted exactly as you'd expect it too. This was bacon meal number 2 for the past two days. The night before we had hamburgers and I put four slices of bacon on mine. It was fantastic.

So after Okonomi House we walkd back home and I cooked up a rack of Our Compliments ribs (which are always tasty) and roasted a couple of cubed and seasoned potatoes which turned out great. My girlfriend made herself a burrito/fajita thing that she makes now and then. it was leftovers, not enough for me. And apparently there wasn't enough of my meal for her, because I ate the whole damn thing.

She got one rib out of the rack and a handful of potatoes. I ate the rest. And some chips. And drank water (haven't been consuming enough water these past couple of months. Too much coffee instead).

So last night I felt there was a fair amount of shit up in me but I didn't feel like going. I didn't poo in the morning either, but i was gassy. I guess with all that meat I might have been a bit constipated. I guess I still am, because the only poo I've pooed today is what you see at the top of this post, and you know how that came about?

Well, when I came home to study today I bought a bottle of coke on the way. After my first sip I felt the need, and that's what came out. It felt like more at the time, but looking at it now, it's not much is it?

Hey, if anyone cares to, feel free to email me which of my poos is your favourite. I'll see about doing a photomosaic of all my poos so that they make the image of your favourite poo. I might need a few more still for it to work.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Shit shits on floor, teacher sends him home with it.

Father: Son, Age 5, Sent Home With Bag Of Feces In Backpack

Pretty amazing piece of work by a kindergarten teachers who's had it up to here with kids shitting in his classroom.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Another poo ball?!

I was totally unaware of this possibility until I started seeing it in my own toilet. 

I guess what must happen is that in some cases the poo is slightly bouyant and as I add to the pile it rotates in the water and a new side of the pile gets added to it and it rotates some more.

Another key element would have to be the softness, or stickiness of the shit. If it wasn't sticky it wouldn't stick, obviously, and couldn't possibly form into a ball.

Now, this is only the second instance in my entire life that I've notice my shit form into a ball like this. I will definitely be keeping my eyes open for that and will try to notice it in the process.

If your lucky, maybe I'll be able to take a series of photos to document. Won't you be excited to see that?

Monday, April 20, 2009

Not more than a stain

I had some rather unpleasant toilet experiences today. Not sure what the deal was, but it worked itself out.

Earlier in the day, before this one, I was at school after an exam and I was drinking coffee. I felt like I would probably have to poo at some point, but there wasn't anything urgent about it.

I made a phone call and before I went back into the computer lab it hit me.

Unfortunately someone else decided they needed to pee right after and for some reason I went into the common bathroom rather than the private accessibility bathroom. So stupid. So I sat and had trouble preventing myself from farting these horrible spluttering farts, and i didn't know who the other guy was. It easily could have been a friend of mine who I would rather did not hear me shit these horrible little spluttering shits. It was horrible.

In the end the other fellow left and I squeeze what I could out of my body but it still wasn't anything.

When I came home to my girlfriend's place I sat down to poo for real and there was already a little toilet paper in there. Good thing otherwise there wouldn't be a photo here would there? Good thing for you eh?!

So all that came out was a horrible spattering of shit goo. Fucking gross. This is seriously one of the only genuinely disgusting photos on this blog if you ask me.


Sunday, April 19, 2009

Another pile of sticks

You know, it happens now and then. Look how uniform they are, and yet each slightly different.

I guess it's because they're just natural shits.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Veggie burgers

Have you had President's Choice World's Best Meatless Burgers?

They're great. And I eat meat. I eat meat, but I love these burgers. They're basically all I've eaten in the past three days.

Well, that and all dressed chips. and coke. I've been drinking coke all the while.

The reason is that I'm studying. Studying for exams. I have two exams, and they're spaced apart nicely, but the first one is going to be a real ball buster. So I've gone simple for dinner and lunches all week. This week it's been the World's Best Meatless Burgers, with mozzerella cheese.

Wish me luck.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Oh yeah, pile it up. Shit yeah.

Haven't been active much lately. Sorry about that. Like I've said before, it's not that I haven't been pooing, it's just that the poos haven't been too exciting.

That and I've been incredibly busy with school, and highly stressed. Not angry-stressed, really, but just intense with busy-ness.

What's amazing is that my poos haven't been necessarily all that stressed seeming. I've been drinking a lot of coffee, so that seems to soften things up a bit, and I haven't been eating so well, so I guess that doesn't really help much, but just look at that one there.

Okay, I know a lot of you don't like poos like that. They don't seem healthy to you because they're all soft and everything but you know I feel all backed up until I squeeze out that shit and then I feel GOOD, so I don't know what your problem is.

What's that? Nobody reads this and I'm just conversing with nobody? Could be. I guess that would indicate that I actually feel kind of guilty about my low-quality poos. Maybe that's true. I do take more satisfaction in a nicely coiled, fairly dark poo, and I realize my diet has been pretty poor lately...

Whatever, screw you! Look at that picture! It looks awesome!! and it wouldn't have turned out so well if it hadn't oozed out like soft-serve icecream and peaked out of the water. So you can shove it!

Oh, in other news the other day my hits hit a new one-day record of 15. I don't know who you are, but thanks.