Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Kind of Cabbage that Poo is made of

You may notice that this poo is slightly green. It certainly was. My girlfriend and I are big fans of making okonomiyaki, but we never use a whole cabbage so there's always lots left over. I went and found a recipe for an Apple, Cabbage and Sausage meal. I don't know how to explain it exactly but it's like sausages with sourkraut except that instead of sourkraut, it's shredded cabbage with apples and apple juice in it. Kind of tasty, kind of strange, and apparently it makes your poo green

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Gordon Ramsay's Fast Poo

Yesterday morning I lined up to try to get a wrist band so my girlfriend and I could get Gordon Ramsay to sign a copy of his new book Fast Food. Unfortunately there were at least a hundred people who beat me to the punch by about two hours. Oh well.

Apparently people in Burlington camped out for 24 hours to get a chance to see Ramsay. I figured it was just as well because we'd just have to wait in line for another three hours or more inside a crowded store.

Instead my girlfriend and I went to the Eaton Centre, checked out the situation at Indigo, had dinner at Mr. Greenjeans, then went back to Indigo to see if we could catch a glimpse of Ramsay. We did, we got to see him through the front windows, and took a couple of pictures. It was almost exciting. We might have stuck around longer but my girlfriend had to poo (interesting) so we headed home.

This poo came about this morning after I came home from her house to do some p90x. It was quick and easy and left me feeling well prepared to take on another hour of p90x, which was exhausting. I have a feeling it is always going to be exhausting. My arms still haven't recovered from yesterday and tomorrow I'm supposed to do a Shoulders and Arms workout. Holy shit, how will I manage that? I guess we'll see!

Did some grocery shopping. Bought a bunch of red lettuce, broccoli, sliced ham, organic apples, egg whites, rye bread, etc, etc. Mostly all these things were on the p90x shopping list, so now I just have to keep an eye on portions.

Monday, April 28, 2008

p90x Day 1 - The Poo

Eeh, not much of a poo there. I had a bigger one while at my girlfriend's house which was preceeded by kind of stomach pains. Probably not a good sign.

This morning I did my first day of p90x, the extreme workout. Now, I don't really work out at all, so yeah, it was pretty extreme. I cycle everywhere, and I was swimming every now and then, but my endurance is pretty low. That's why I'm doing p90x.

So this morning I got up at 5:30 and did push ups and pull ups and lifted a little weight for about an hour and a half. My arms are still tight feeling. I could barely wash my hair in the shower after. I had to shake my head to brush my teeth. Feels pretty good though. I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

I don't think you can blame p90x for the poo pictured, but I'll be doing some grocery shopping with the p90x nutrition guide as a guide later today so that probably will have a major influence on my poo. Stay Tuned!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Stressy Poos

So now you know what happens when you don't poo for three days in a row because you're too busy and stressed out studying for exams. It was the sort of thing where I'd feel like I had to poo but there'd be nothing but gas in the morning. Then I'd feel like I had to poo while at school but I had to write an exam, etc.

So yesterday I poo'd twice. The first was a decent crap that started out fairly firm and robust but finished kind of sloppy. I should have known what that was foreshadowing.

A couple hours later I had another poo. This one was soupy and disgusting. It wasn't the worst soupy poo of my life but it was rather unpleasant and as you can see: Frothy.

The exams went pretty well. I have one more this morning and I feel quite prepared for it. Wish me luck!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Sunday Number 2!

Look at you lucky people!! 2 poos in one day! All right!! Go team!! Poo!!!!

I knew when I crapped earlier today that there would be more crap to crap. Here it is! Coaxed out by approximately 1 litre of Coke. Yum!

All by myself...

I've got four exams this week. Two on Monday, one on Tuesday morning and one on thursday. Not terribly grueling but it makes me feel obligated to devote all of today to studying.

Trouble is I've spent a lot of time studying already this week and I feel pretty good about everything, so now I'm just bored.

Went to Butler's Pantry on Queen Street last night. Had the Tandoori Chicken Penne as usual and a pint of Steamwhistle. My girlfriend and I have been going out for dinner a lot lately. At the beginning of the year we decided we wanted to cut back on eating out but it seems to have crept into a habit again. Butler's last night, Las Iguana's on Bloor street the night before that, Okinomi House before that. Oh well, we'll start cooking again.

Friday, April 18, 2008


No poo yesterday. I seem to be skipping days. The disturbing part is that there was a part of yesterday when I felt a poo coming and I probably could have pooed but I chose not to because I was busy with something else. The result: Not a big poo, but a pretty dense one.

Look at how well it held together compared to some of the other poos posted on here. That's not the longest log I've produced but it was a pretty good one. Came out at about 10:30 this morning.

In other news I'm in the process of downloading the P90X workout videos you've probably seen advertised on tv. I downloaded a p90x torrent that includes the guides that come in the package as pdfs as well as all the videos from the dvds. I'm looking forward to it. I'm in reasonably good shape. I have nothing to complain about but I don't want to end up a little tubby when I'm in my thirties and then kinda fat in my forties with a big spare tire in my fifties.

I don't know what implications the p90x system is going to have for my poo but I guess we'll see. I expect some changes at least, especially if I stick to the recommendations in the nutrition guide. So from now on consider this a P90X blog from a different perspective. and let me know if you have any insights!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Bitch Shit!

What a pain. Seriously. This one was dense. I ate thai fried rice with chicken and shrimp, some peanut m&ms and some doritos last night. I don't know exactly else might have gone into this monstrousity but it was robust to say the least.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


Sorry, but I missed a poo. I took a poo sunday afternoon but didn't take a picture of it. I apologize. I was at my girlfriend's place and she would have wondered if she had heard the shutter sound from my phone camera in the bathroom. I was not prepared to explain this whole thing.

My girlfriend and I had some friends over to her place on saturday and we made the Vegetable Curry from Gordon Ramsay's Fast Food. It was pretty darn good and everything from the rice to the naan bread to the curry came together perfectly.

This shit was likely the result of that dinner because the one before that had been brewing for about two days. I didn't poo at all between friday afternoon and sunday afternoon, so the poo I had probably didn't contain any of the curry. This poo, this morning, however, most likely was all curry. I always get lots of little poos with tiny floaty bits when I've eaten a lot of vegetables. So there you have it.

Friday, April 11, 2008

After-School Special (the poo)

mmmm, hmmmm. Last day of school, split a pitcher with a friend, got back to the girlfriend's house (the girlfriend who doesn't know about this blog and wouldn't understand), and had a nice poo while reading Gordon Ramsay's new book "Gordon Ramsay's Fast Food".

Not very many vegetarian dishes in the book but we're going to pick something from it to make for our gay vegetarian friend Dylan tomorrow evening. A couple of weeks ago we had a nice success with the carmelized banana split, so we thought we'd try something new. He's going to be doing a signing later in the month so we figured we ought to pick a couple of favourite recipes in case he asks.

The poo was quite comfortable. It just sort of slid out without much fuss. Not a memorable poo, but then again that's probably a good thing.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Floaters in the Staff Washroom

Finding a place to shit at my school can be very difficult. I have a hard time laying cable if there's someone else in the bathroom at the same time, and of course I would rather be warm and comfortable. I also don't like large, wheelchair accessible toilet stalls or narrow stalls with other stalls on each side.

I guess I'm a little particular, but I'm sure there are worse people out there.
So when I'm at school and I have to take a crap I'm usually running around looking for an out of the way bathroom that won't get much traffic through it. It's actually quite difficult to find any bathroom at this University because the men's rooms aren't always located next to the ladies' rooms.

Thankfully I have discovered a so-called Staff Only washroom which is unlocked. I sit down, relax, have my poo and am uninterrupted through the whole process. very nice.
This is where the poo in the picture was left. They floated around for a while but as you can see they had settled into the bottom of the toilet by the time the picture was taken.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Noisy Poo

This one made a lot of noise on its way through my guts. Wow! I tried to record it with my cell phone but you couldn't make out my belly's gurgling and squelching very well. Sorry about that.

I should mention too that this was a first thing in the morning poo. I can't even say I was totally awake when this started working its way out. I hadn't even showered yet (which is usually how I like to do it).

Monday, April 7, 2008

A typical poo

Pretty straight forward poo this evening. Wasn't really feeling much all day but knew it was steadily building. Not much to comment on with this one except that I was reading a good little comic by Adrian Tomine while pooing it.

The comic involves an asian guy meeting a bisexual girl at a lesbian party. His lesbian friend doesn't want him to bother with her but they go out and get involved. I didn't finish it because the poo was so quick. It's in the Best American Comics 2007 book edited by Chris Ware. Nice artwork, clever, all that good stuff.

This poo did remind me of why I started this collection. I've long been fascinated by the sculptural quality of poo and this is a prime example. Look how the poo has fallen upon itself, folded and broke, collected at the bottom of the toilet piled on top of itself. You know they always say no two snowflakes are alike but if you bother to think about it, no two poos look the same either.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Litres of gas yesterday but plenty of poo today!

For most of the day yesterday I thought I was on the verge of taking a big poo but whenever I sat on the toilet to get rid of it all there was was gas. A couple of times the farting relieved the pressure so I didn't feel so much like I had to crap, but it still wasn't satisfying.

When I woke up this morning I thought for sure I was going to finally poo it all out but I was too busy to sit and have a dump. Finally just now I finished a coffee and out it came. Lots of it too. Not enough to break the surface of the toilet water, but plenty for sure.

Feels good to be empty.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Magna Cum Poo

I decided to do some school work at a school I'm not a student at, University of Toronto. I got a coffee and a danish and sat at a table in one of their fancy new buildings, the one with all the bamboo in it.

I was there about two hours, had my coffee, wrote about 5 pages of a science fiction story and then I felt it coming.
I could tell it would be a kind of unpleasant poo, I think the coffee had a lot to do with that. I went to the men's room and it just sort of spooged out of me. As you can see it's not a very robust poo, and it didn't feel particularly healthy. But these things happen.

It did feel good to have a poo at a fancy major university instead of where I go to school. Even our new bathrooms aren't as nice as the one I used at U of T today.

Sorry about the glare and reflections. There was a lot of light in the bathroom; a skylight and hidden indirect lighting. If I tried to angle it one way I got the skylight in the shot and the other way gave me the indirect lighting.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Good Morning Poo

Good morning!

There was no poo yesterday and I apologize. It was a long day and I didn't eat very much, that's my only excuse.

What I did eat, I think makes itself apparent in this image. I had some Dirty Rice with blackened chicken and broccoli from a cajun food court restaurant for lunch (with a coke of course). and for dinner it was Fish and Chips.

This poo came very easily and was almost too short. I feel like there may still be more up in there but I have things to do today.