Friday, February 27, 2009


This is just what I was talking about the other day.

I was in the kitchen making a sandwich for lunch and my tummy was going blurp blurp blurp, but I figured it was just hungry. I got some cereal and started eating it while the water boiled for my coffee (to be saved for later). I ate my breakfast and poured my coffee into my thermos and my tummy continued to go blurp blurp blurp.

The last couple of weeks I've been early getting to work, which has been beneficial because I've had to poo just as I arrived each time. Pooing in the bathroom of a major institution of the city is undesirable. You never know who could be there at the urinal when you finish stinking up the place. So I thought I'd better just go sit and shit before I leave. and it was just the kind of shit I talked about in the last post.

It started off feeling fairly robust, but quickly became a series of wimpy little plip plip shits. Not a happy shit. Look how little those shits are. It's like a serving of french fries. yuck.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A rock slide

My stomach has been rumbling a lot lately. It doesn't make me feel sick, or like I'm gonna shit any second, but it's uncomfortable and very noisy.

My best guess about it is that I drink too much coffee and don't eat enough in general. My stomach feels empty most of the time. I still ride my bike very frequently despite living about 6 km from school. So I bike about 12km a day, which I imagine would burn a lot of calories? So maybe I'm burning more than I'm taking in? Haven't weighed myself though.

So my poos, as a result of this, can be fairly unpredictable, wimpy and unimpressive. Wimpy in the sense that they're sometimes way too soft and come out looking like ribbons of shit. Not nice. So i have to cut back on the coffee.

This morning I was thinking: What's worse, coffee shits, coke shits or beer shits. But that was stupid of me, beer shits are clearly the worst. They stink the worst and they feel the worst. But they usually only come about in the morning so they're predictable at least.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A poo of great regret

Not really.

I've had some awful shits the last few days. Shits that weren't really worth writing about or taking a picture of, just unpleasant to deal with. I had a very explosive coffee shit the other day, sprayed all over the back of the bowl like some kind of monster.

I've had some tough ones too, hard to get out, not too flexible, but I didn't really know what I could say about it, and I was at the girlfriend's so I forgot to bring my camera in with me. Sorry folks.

In other news I finally got my hands on a reasonably priced copy of Season 1 & 2 of Homicide: Life on the Street! I'd seen it in stores before but it was usually $80, and although it's the first two seasons there are actually fewer disks than the other seasons I have. I now have 1 through 7, which is pretty much as far as I want to go with Homicide. I think it goes up to 9, but at that point they were under so much pressure from the network to compete with Nash Bridges that the elements that made the early episodes so good started to take a backseat. I also didn't like most of the new characters.

And now there's The Wire, which I only just saw two episodes of last night. A couple of friends of mine are crazy about this show, and since it's from David Simon, who wrote the book and a bunch of episodes for Homicide you know it's good.

In poo news, well I don't know what to tell you. This one was ready to go last night but I didn't really feel like sitting down so I left it until this morning. You'd think it would have been bigger given the circumstance, but who knows. My bowels are a mystery.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Ah HA! Poo on you!!

So early in this blog I got a lot of comments about how unhealthy my shits looked. A lot of people said things like, "ugh, those poos look so soft!" or "What's with the pale colour? That can't be healthy!" etc, etc.

Well look at me now!!

I was shocked by this shit. It felt stiff coming out but when I sat up to look at it I was surprised by just how firm it appeared. Look at it! Click on the image and get the full size and look at it! Their like two wooden sticks man!

But guess what! In all the time that I've been making this blog the past two days were probably two of my worst days nutritionally. Tonight I ate two Whoppers from burger king because I got a 2-for-1 coupon. In the afternoon I drank a coffee. For lunch I had a slice of pizza and a bottle of coke. Breakfast was a big fat cinnamon roll. Last night I ate two Whoppers for dinner (there were a few coupons). Lunch yesterday was soup, and I drank coffee. Sunday I ate half a bag of chips for breakfast and followed that up with a bottle of coke and a king-sized twix for brunch.

Does that sound like a healthy diet? No? So how could it possibly produce such a "healthy-looking" shit? It couldn't possibly. The only conclusion that I can draw is that the people who poo-pooed my shits simply saw shits that were different from their own and judged them to be unhealthy, or "wrong". This happens so often in life. It's where racism comes from.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

a word on administration

I'm quite proud of something. When I started this I devised a numbering system for my images. Yesterday's poo was called 090131.jpg and today's is 090201.jpg See how smart that is? In my file folder february 1 comes after january 1, and everything in '08 comes before that. People don't always think of that when they name things. They'd just call them January3109 and Feb109 or something like that. That won't help at all in the future when you have to go back and find a poo from a particular day and year. Naming the files like that could confuse you into thinking Feb108 is the right one. Well it wouldn't be.

I can't wait til my first anniversary. I might start some way of comparing poos from different years.