Sore back, but not so much now.

My lower back was really killing me yesterday, and to a lesser extent the day before. I'm going to blame my studying habit. Lately what I've been doing is sitting cross legged on my bed, hunched over my books. Really awful position to be in. I may have also slept funny the other night, which probably really fucked things up.

This morning though I foke up feeling mostly fine. No obligations at all today so I'm just studying for my last exam which is tomorrow. I should do pretty well, but I'm getting frustrated going through the materials. The course is supposed to be about How, but it's really just been What Is, if you know what I mean. I won't go into it.

Ate a peanut butter sandwich for lunch yesterday, drank a bunch of coffee and ate a roast beef sandwich. Didn't result in much this morning but I expect there'll be more later today. I probably won't blog it unless it's exceptional though.

My civilian alterego is now on twitter, which is interesting, but not as revolutionary as everyone seems to think. I'll probably have some thoughts on the subject, but it'll be too much trouble for me to update on there as well as on here. So you're just going to have to keep checking here for updates. Sorry folks.

A Ball of Shit

So this is a new one. A ball of shit.

Not sure how it happened, but I think the little shits all piled onto each other and were sticky enough to cling to eachother and as it became off balanced it rolled, floating in the water, resulting in equal coverage on each side.

Wow, really makes you want to vomit eh?

Plus it throws my whole theory about my shits being on the rebound right out the window... or does it add a degree of poetry to the discussion?

Rebound.

Ball.

This was the result of morning coffee preceding the morning shit. Lovely.

I told off a lazy coworker today (via email, so it hardly counts) and she responded by saying, "You want me to feel bad but I don't because blah blah blah, you've taught me a valuable lesson about people" or something.  She totally full of shit. Probably doesn't even look at her poos.

So thick!

Well, not that thick. I've seen thicker shits (specifically from my girlfriend, guh), but this is thick for me, especially recently.

My girlfriend thinks my diet is poor. All I can think of is the addition of large amounts of coffee into my daily nutrition. I guess that could do it. But we're not just talking about my poos. I feel like my whole life has been suffering in the same manner as my craps. I don't feel good, or strong, or important at all anymore. I don't exactly feel depressed, or I haven't until the last couple of days, but in the last few months I've just felt useless.

In my group at school somehow I get by without doing much of anything because I always have insightful comments and whatnot. Now that it's time to create some content I'm at a loss. My grades haven't suffered though. I just got a paper back with an A- and I didn't put much effort into it.

I love my girlfriend and she loves me and that's all going great, but otherwise personally I feel like a total failure. I live with my brother, I haven't worked a job for money in two years. etc, etc. This is the kind of stuff I used to write about in my regular journal. I shouldn't subject you fine folks to this. I just thought there was a reasonable corelation between my poos and my moods. Now that the poos look better, maybe I'll get better?

A rock slide

My stomach has been rumbling a lot lately. It doesn't make me feel sick, or like I'm gonna shit any second, but it's uncomfortable and very noisy.

My best guess about it is that I drink too much coffee and don't eat enough in general. My stomach feels empty most of the time. I still ride my bike very frequently despite living about 6 km from school. So I bike about 12km a day, which I imagine would burn a lot of calories? So maybe I'm burning more than I'm taking in? Haven't weighed myself though.

So my poos, as a result of this, can be fairly unpredictable, wimpy and unimpressive. Wimpy in the sense that they're sometimes way too soft and come out looking like ribbons of shit. Not nice. So i have to cut back on the coffee.

This morning I was thinking: What's worse, coffee shits, coke shits or beer shits. But that was stupid of me, beer shits are clearly the worst. They stink the worst and they feel the worst. But they usually only come about in the morning so they're predictable at least.

A poo of great regret

Not really.

I've had some awful shits the last few days. Shits that weren't really worth writing about or taking a picture of, just unpleasant to deal with. I had a very explosive coffee shit the other day, sprayed all over the back of the bowl like some kind of monster.

I've had some tough ones too, hard to get out, not too flexible, but I didn't really know what I could say about it, and I was at the girlfriend's so I forgot to bring my camera in with me. Sorry folks.

In other news I finally got my hands on a reasonably priced copy of Season 1 & 2 of Homicide: Life on the Street! I'd seen it in stores before but it was usually $80, and although it's the first two seasons there are actually fewer disks than the other seasons I have. I now have 1 through 7, which is pretty much as far as I want to go with Homicide. I think it goes up to 9, but at that point they were under so much pressure from the network to compete with Nash Bridges that the elements that made the early episodes so good started to take a backseat. I also didn't like most of the new characters.

And now there's The Wire, which I only just saw two episodes of last night. A couple of friends of mine are crazy about this show, and since it's from David Simon, who wrote the book and a bunch of episodes for Homicide you know it's good.

In poo news, well I don't know what to tell you. This one was ready to go last night but I didn't really feel like sitting down so I left it until this morning. You'd think it would have been bigger given the circumstance, but who knows. My bowels are a mystery.

Ah HA! Poo on you!!

So early in this blog I got a lot of comments about how unhealthy my shits looked. A lot of people said things like, "ugh, those poos look so soft!" or "What's with the pale colour? That can't be healthy!" etc, etc.

Well look at me now!!

I was shocked by this shit. It felt stiff coming out but when I sat up to look at it I was surprised by just how firm it appeared. Look at it! Click on the image and get the full size and look at it! Their like two wooden sticks man!

But guess what! In all the time that I've been making this blog the past two days were probably two of my worst days nutritionally. Tonight I ate two Whoppers from burger king because I got a 2-for-1 coupon. In the afternoon I drank a coffee. For lunch I had a slice of pizza and a bottle of coke. Breakfast was a big fat cinnamon roll. Last night I ate two Whoppers for dinner (there were a few coupons). Lunch yesterday was soup, and I drank coffee. Sunday I ate half a bag of chips for breakfast and followed that up with a bottle of coke and a king-sized twix for brunch.

Does that sound like a healthy diet? No? So how could it possibly produce such a "healthy-looking" shit? It couldn't possibly. The only conclusion that I can draw is that the people who poo-pooed my shits simply saw shits that were different from their own and judged them to be unhealthy, or "wrong". This happens so often in life. It's where racism comes from.

Tight hole poo

I had raisin bran and orange juice for breakfast and when i arrived at school I ate a granola bar and drank some coffee. I think the coffee did it. I didn't feel much like going immediately but shortly after there was an urgent need. It squeezed out like soft serve, but through a tighter hole. mine.

poo. it had to be poo.

Watched the Indiana Jones trilogy this weekend. I'd say all three stand up pretty well. For some reason everybody thinks Temple of Doom sucks or is the worst of the three but my girlfriend loves it the most (because she was once a small chinese child like Short Round) and after watching all three together you see that it really isn't any worse than the rest (and it's a lot better than Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls).

but that was the weekend and today is today.  After yesterdays long awaited shit I didn't poo again until today at 2:30pm. I was actually wondering when it might happen. I had class at 9 and after that drank a coffee and ate a slice of some kind of blueberry bread or something before going shopping for new office-like clothes. I was afraid I would have to poo in a mall bathroom, but it just didn't come! I stopped in at my girlfriend's place to drop some stuff off and pick some stuff up and I sat for a bit, but still, no poo! As soon as I got to my place though, POOP!

I peed, then I farted and thought I'd done a little more (I was still clean though) and then delivered this beautiful baby! all right!

The Logdriver's Waltz

Some tasty floaters today.

More gassiness and unsure pooping lately. 

This one came along suddenly after a large coffee in the afternoon. 

In my program's building at school there's a handicap washroom which locks and is very private and nice. I love to shit there. It's particularly nice that it isn't supposedly a staff washroom, so I shouldn't have any official reason to not be there. Of course I do not have any special needs requiring a large bathroom all to myself, so if someone in a wheelchair were to knock on the door I'd feel bad, but that hasn't happened yet, so I'll continue to shit there as long as I can.

The Dark (K)Poo

The poos have been dark lately. Must be the coffee as previously discussed. It's the only substantial change to my diet in the last few weeks/months.

Anyhow, I'm really sorry but I did not photograph a poo I made earlier this evening. The thing is I did it at school, in a bathroom close to my class room, just before class began and I was afraid of the ramifications if I had been caught photographing it.

But it was delightful.

I had arrived to class early and I was sitting chatting with my friend but a dreadful amount of gas was putting pressure on my insides so I left to use the washroom. I knew I had to poo eventually, but thought I could wait until after class as long as I released some gas in the mean time. When I tried to fart, however, I felt there was a blockage, so I headed for a stall.

I quickly removed my pants and sat on the toilet before completely relaxing my sphincter to allow whatever was inside to escape. Like a pumpkin shot from a cannon a sizeable lump of shit and a great deal of gas exploded from my anus. It hit the water with a splash and I felt almost completely relieved of my stool. It was great, actually.

I knew there was more up there but for the time being I was felt satisfied and was able to return to the class in time for the lecture. When I got home from school I called my girlfriend and after that made the poo you see at the top of the page. I consider it to be of the same poo as my earlier event, which is why I've tagged this as a double.

A Long Poo Good-Bye

No, I'm not going anywhere! I just couldn't think of a better headline, and this one did take a while.

I've actually been shitting A LOT this weekend. or this past week. I've almost completely lost track of everything.

School has me very stressed out, I'm incredibly over-caffienated and my bowel movement, while very stable and solid, have been irregular in other ways. I don't know if I should really be using the term irregular.

Let me explain.

Let's say I wake up in the morning with a fair amount of time before I have to leave for school. In the past this would have been prime shittin' time but lately there has been no poo early in the morning.

Not so long ago if I had not pooed at home first thing in the morning I would usually poo when I got to school or after my first class. Lately, not so much.

In fact, for the past week or so I've found myself forced to defecate at any given moment. Usually it will have been brewing for some time but I'd be in class or working on something and it wouldn't have seemed urgent, but the last few days it's just been like: "Hey guys, how's it going. Oh, I've got to take a shit RIGHT NOW!" and off I'd go.

Also, in general the poo seem more firm, smaller, shorter (time length) and darker. And I think the only substantial change to my diet has been a switch from coke to coffee, and I've been drinking a lot of coffee lately.

So maybe all you folks who have been saying my poos look unhealthy because they aren't dark and firm just need to lay off the coffee a bit.

Big n' chunky

Not what I expected!

Headed over to the girlfriend's this morning to do some laundry and some Yoga X, but decided to have a coffee while I tried to get through an overdue library book. Half way through the coffee I felt the poo brewing. I really didn't think it was going to be a nice one, and perhaps stupidly I decided to hold onto it until I finished the coffee.

I tried to make myself comfortable, tried not to fart too much (just in case my fart came out a, a poo). Even when it was time, when it was coming out, it didn't feel that good, but damn, look at those shits! Thick, dark and pretty solid if I say so myself. I know a lot of people have been concerned about the quality of my poos, so here's one I hope you're happy to see.

Dough!

This morning (this is how they did the trippy space effects near the end of 2001)


Also this morning

Multiple poos in the same day never result in very healthy poos. I actually felt a little ill this morning when I had the second poo, but by this afternoon I was feeling fine. Relatively fine. I had two coffees around lunch time and the second coffee was definitely a mistake. I was jittery the rest of the afternoon (still am a little and it's almost 6pm).

I'm not sure what the cause of these unpleasant poos was, except that maybe it was the horrible bread I baked.

All the ingredients cost me about $13, although the amounts were much more than I needed, so I have left over molasses, flour, yeast, etc. Mixing the flour into the molasses, milk, water, yeast, and so on started off pretty easy and simple and I was optimistic, but by the time I started working in the second half of the rye flour it became a serious workout. It was extremely tough working in all that flour and I began to worry that the temperature of the room, the sweat from my hands and the length of time spent working on it were going to adversely affect the bread.

Eventually I was ready to let it rise, supposedly to double, but it didn't reach double after an hour and 15 minutes (timed by how long it took me to get through my p90x workout). I didn't know what else to do so I cut it into two and waited for the two loaves to rise. They rose somewhat after an hour but not a lot, so I threw it in the oven anyway. Yesterday was one of the hottest days of the year so far, so I had the exhaust fan on high and my floor fan pointed out the kitchen window, but it was still incredibly hot. After the appointed 45 minutes I took out the two loaves. Rock solid, heavy and hot as coals. god dammit. And how did the bread taste? Like molasses of course! 4 tablespoons of molasses. I thought it seemed like a lot, but that's what the recipe called for!

ugh, I'll try another recipe some other time but for now I'm a little discouraged. Then again, I'm not a baker. I'm a pooer.

"snakey" not "wormy"

Morning


Afternoon

I should let you know right off the bat that the second poo today was a coffee poo. Which is why it's so wormy looking. Maybe I shouldn't say wormy, let's say snakey. People don't "get snakes", but they do "get worms" and I don't want to suggest that I have worms.

I believe the lighter bits in the poos are dried mango once again. If you'll recall I have mixed feelings about dried mangos but ultimately I find them to be rather tasty, so I like to eat them.

I've been trying to have a productive day today but the weather is all overcast and I feel listless. All I managed to accomplish before having the coffee was to import more of my CDs onto my computer. Not too exciting. After the coffee, however, I did some work on a group project I'm working on this summer, and that has been very productive and rather exciting. I would go into more detail about it but it's really not even remotely poo-related, so I won't bore you with it.

This poo spilled out of my ass.

I knew it would too. I could feel it. It's my fault for not pooing earlier. I had to poo earlier today but it wasn't like I NEEDED to, so I waited. I won a cheeseburger by peeling off the sticker from a Burger King fries so i redeemed that instead of pooing. I knew that would come back to haunt me, but it was a free burger and I had to return a movie anyway.

By the time I got home I didn't have to poo at all, which is never a good sign. I didn't do much this afternoon, and I didn't feel like doing much so I made a cup of coffee to get me motivated. Motivated onto the toilet apparently.

You ever get that feeling in your bowels where you know that if you were forced to run you'd end up with shit going down the backs of your legs? Yeah, I had that going on. Luckily I wasn't in gym class ('cause I've been through that before), so I just made my way to the toilet and sat down with "Rant". Out it came in one foul sploosh. Ick. Not watery at all though, just you know, soft and in bits and pieces, as you can see. I read about one page and then I was done so I snapped the pic and here you go!

My job interview on tuesday went fairly well by the way. As long as the other applicants were dumb-bells I'm a shoe-in. But who knows. I got an email from another job I thought I'd be appropriate for this morning rejecting my application. bastards. Glad I slept in.

Litres of gas yesterday but plenty of poo today!

For most of the day yesterday I thought I was on the verge of taking a big poo but whenever I sat on the toilet to get rid of it all there was was gas. A couple of times the farting relieved the pressure so I didn't feel so much like I had to crap, but it still wasn't satisfying.

When I woke up this morning I thought for sure I was going to finally poo it all out but I was too busy to sit and have a dump. Finally just now I finished a coffee and out it came. Lots of it too. Not enough to break the surface of the toilet water, but plenty for sure.

Feels good to be empty.

Magna Cum Poo

I decided to do some school work at a school I'm not a student at, University of Toronto. I got a coffee and a danish and sat at a table in one of their fancy new buildings, the one with all the bamboo in it.

I was there about two hours, had my coffee, wrote about 5 pages of a science fiction story and then I felt it coming.

I could tell it would be a kind of unpleasant poo, I think the coffee had a lot to do with that. I went to the men's room and it just sort of spooged out of me. As you can see it's not a very robust poo, and it didn't feel particularly healthy. But these things happen.

It did feel good to have a poo at a fancy major university instead of where I go to school. Even our new bathrooms aren't as nice as the one I used at U of T today.

Sorry about the glare and reflections. There was a lot of light in the bathroom; a skylight and hidden indirect lighting. If I tried to angle it one way I got the skylight in the shot and the other way gave me the indirect lighting.