Hard poos and hard times

Been having these tough shits in the last couple of days. Tough, as in, I feel I have to shit, I sit down, there is gas, then the gas gets plugged up and rather than feel the shit squeeze it's way out my anus it just sort of pushes up against it, trying to stretch it open so it can get out. Robust is how I think I've characterized these shits in the past. Some of you might say these are healthier than my usual shits, but their painful man. Sometimes there's even a little blood on my toilet paper when I wipe. I don't want that!

Anyway, what I at least like about this picture is how you can see the urine not-quite-mixed with the water. There are some transparent ripples near the top of the log. I hope you appreciate that as well.

In other news: I'm feeling kind of depressed. School is over and I haven't started working yet. I don't know what to do with myself and I don't feel like doing anything. Looking for work depresses me even more and makes me feel useless. The weather has been nice, but I feel ashamed if I enjoy it because I should really be doing something productive. I had a job coming, I've put in an application and I have every reason to think that I'll get it, but it wouldn't start until June. My girlfriend is leaving her job at the end of next week, so it might be good to spend some time in the spring weather with her, being bums (that's kind of how our love grew in the first place, we were both out of work so we went to montreal for a few days).

What I've discovered (and I don't know why I didn't realize this last year) is that I really, REALLY need structure in my life. I mean, I desperately NEED it because otherwise I get depressed and really down on myself. So I've got to impose some structure on myself, at least for the next few weeks.

Big fat Poops!!

I don't usually have craps like this do I? I mean, you can just have a look in the archives if you don't believe me. That's a big fat poo over there. Firm, not squishy, not soupy. 

Have a close look and you'll even see the seeds and grains and things from the 12 Grain bread I've been eating lately. In fact, when I wiped there was a little dark seed on the toilet paper. Kind of gross. But I kind of like stuff like that. Don't ask why. I have no idea.

Oh yeah, notice the time on this one. 8:09am. I had an exam at 9 and I'd left the house way too early, so I was already at school when this guy came out. Which was good, because I wouldn't have wanted to have that pressing on me while I wrote the exam.

Really should have pooed earlier.

You know how it is, you've got shit to do, no time to poo! But it's up to you, and I know what you do, I do it too, you let it stew and when your guts turn to goo that's when you poo, when there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Maybe I do this too often. I can feel the poo, but I'm like, "nah, I can hold it". And I hold it, but near the end of what I'm doing I'm not feeling so great. Especially if it's a work out. You really, REALLY, don't want to be doing squats with a poo in your guts.

My girlfriend has strange habits when it comes to poos. She waits until she needs to poo, like RIGHTNOW!! but it just takes her seconds, a minute at most. Usually it takes her about the same amount of time to pee as it does to poo. I find that strange. She claims that they're often quite large, but come out quickly.

The only time I've seen one of her poos, ugh. I had pooed and then gone for a shower. I hadn't flushed because I didn't want the shower water to be screwed up by the filling of the tank. Then my girlfriend comes into the bathroom because she has to poo. I told her to go ahead and flush "I can take it", but she said, "no, it's okay" and she pooed on top of my poo! When I came out I had a look. it wasn't pretty. Her poo was dark, looking like chocolate fudge ice cream, and the combined mass of our two poos meant that hers was poking up out of the water. I can almost smell it now. Real, classic shit smell. Like the smell you imagine when you watch Two Girls One Cup. The smell that makes you want to retch. and it came from my cute little girlfriend. Wow.

Of course that's what this blog is all about: A reminder that Everybody Poos. I do it and you do it too!

It's a little poo!

All that work and this was the best I could do this morning. Unbelievable! Squeeze, squeeze, nothing.

I did the p90x yoga today. Wonder if that had anything to do with it. Actually as I was pushing I was admiring my abs and thinking what a great help these ab exercises have been for my pooing. Then again, maybe not.

I just got a call for an interview for monday, so that's exciting. It's not exactly in my field but it's something and it's not free work, so that's good. I hope I get it. It's at Yonge and Lawrence which could mean a lot more reading to get done on the subway or some seriously thick thighs by the end of the summer from cycling up there every day. I think I'll try to ride up there at least once a week. Maybe I'll do a test run today. It occurs to me that Monday is a holiday however. Strange. Maybe lawyers don't take holidays? It doesn't matter much to me anyway, every day is a holiday until I start working.

Bitch Shit!

What a pain. Seriously. This one was dense. I ate thai fried rice with chicken and shrimp, some peanut m&ms and some doritos last night. I don't know exactly else might have gone into this monstrousity but it was robust to say the least.