Ambushed!

This morning


Slightly later in the morning

It felt like it would be a normal poo, but when I was done it didn't feel normal. It felt like there might be more in there, or it might just be gas, really wasn't sure how it would play out, but I thought I'd give it some time.

I left the bathroom after the first poo, had a little breakfast, got some things together for a meeting and went pee. While peeing I had to fart, so I pushed a bit when suddenly to my horror I felt the start of a little poop! So I stopped and sat down and all that stuff in the bottom picture came out. UNPLEASANT!

But I'm glad I got rid of it before the meeting because it was an all day affair at a house with the bathroom just around the corner, and definitely within earshot, of the room we were working in. Ech!

Big n' chunky

Not what I expected!

Headed over to the girlfriend's this morning to do some laundry and some Yoga X, but decided to have a coffee while I tried to get through an overdue library book. Half way through the coffee I felt the poo brewing. I really didn't think it was going to be a nice one, and perhaps stupidly I decided to hold onto it until I finished the coffee.

I tried to make myself comfortable, tried not to fart too much (just in case my fart came out a, a poo). Even when it was time, when it was coming out, it didn't feel that good, but damn, look at those shits! Thick, dark and pretty solid if I say so myself. I know a lot of people have been concerned about the quality of my poos, so here's one I hope you're happy to see.

On the Runs

Something in my lower guts quivered as my girlfriend and I walked towards Bloor street after having dinner at Shanghai Cowgirl. I'd had the same thing as last time, the Philly Cheese sandwich, but this evening the sauce tasted a bit different. I thought maybe it was just a bit too creamy, or instead of actually using mushrooms they used a can of soup. Whatever it was it didn't taste so great.

I don't neccessarily blame the food there for what happened though. The only other thing I'd had to eat during the day was a small glass of Mudslide, a sausage from the street corner and a can of coke. And I had a can of pepsi with the Philly Cheese sandwich.

By the time we got to Harbord it was decided that I would go directly to my girlfriend's house and she would continue up to Bloor to rent a movie and get some candy. I really didn't feel like getting any candy though.

The walk on Harbord from Spadina to Bathurst was intense. I felt sweat beading up on my ass and thighs. I couldn't be sure it wasn't poo leaking out of my ass. I didn't dare let out any farts or unclench my buttocks for any reason. I knew this would be a gusher.

I made it up the stairs to my girlfriend's apartment, opened the door, grabbed a book ("Hyperion") and undid my pants. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get my pants off in time and almost cursed the decision to waste precious miliseconds picking up the book, but I managed to sit down on the toilet in time to let it all out.

ugh, what a sound.

and the smell!

Of course, nothing really beats the sensation of expelling something foul from your body.

Hum a little Ditty...

So my girlfriend left the bed to pee but didn't bother to close the door, as usual. Suddenly, however, there came loud flatuance and she called out, "Nothing! Hum a little ditty!" so I couldn't hear her poo.

It's a fun little game we have. I'm always trying to see her poo and she's always pretending that she doesn't want me to see her poo, or know that she is pooing.

So I made up a song while she pooped:

Hum a little ditty
a hum hum hum
hum a little ditty
while she poos

Hum a little ditty
a hum hum hum
hum a little ditty
a ditty ditty

girlfriend is pooin'
a hum hum so
hum a little ditty
while she poos

hum a little ditty
a hum hum hum
hum a little ditty
to hide the poo

girlfriend is pooin'
a hum hum it goes
plop plop plop
a ditty ditty

etc.

Anyway, this isn't her poo, it's mine, and it was two days in the making.

Tales of UnemPOOment

Yeah, I'm starting to get a little depressed about the job hunt. I've had no response from anyone I've sent my resume to, except to say that they've already hired their group of students for the summer.

My girlfriend suggested I try a different approach which is to offer up free labour, so I sent out a new batch of resumes today with that suggestion attached. One consultant has already gotten back to me to say that he only hires senior planners. At least he replied.

This poo came out as soon as I got home from my girlfriend's place this morning. It was a simple affair but as you can see not as robust or continuous as other recent defecations. I don't know what that's really about. I've actually had a lot of gas since squeezing this one out and I've been a little nervous about pooping myself a couple of times when I've farted. The worst was while doing my p90x workout of the day, Ab Ripper X calls for a lot of abdominal flexing as you can imagine and I was sure my next "heels to the heavens" pulse up was going to land me with a load in my shorts. Luckily I finished clean (although fairly sweaty).

Litres of gas yesterday but plenty of poo today!

For most of the day yesterday I thought I was on the verge of taking a big poo but whenever I sat on the toilet to get rid of it all there was was gas. A couple of times the farting relieved the pressure so I didn't feel so much like I had to crap, but it still wasn't satisfying.

When I woke up this morning I thought for sure I was going to finally poo it all out but I was too busy to sit and have a dump. Finally just now I finished a coffee and out it came. Lots of it too. Not enough to break the surface of the toilet water, but plenty for sure.

Feels good to be empty.