Whoa, finally!

Didn't poo today until just now, 10:39pm. Yikes. My girlfriend thinks it's because I didn't have any coke today, but I think I had some yesterday, so I don't know if that really has anything to do with it.

Usually I poo in the morning and then if I don't then I poo in the afternoon. I was beginning to feel sheepish about my lack of movements until lying down for bed after a massively stuffing dinner.

Oh dinner. We got Roti from up the street. My girlfriend had the boneless chicken. I thought I'd try something new, so I got goat. It was great! It was huge, and my girlfriend didn't finish all of hers, so I did. Then I moaned and rolled around too full to be humble. Just as we were getting into bed I said, "Guess what! I haven't pooed today!" The girlfriend had a slightly concerned look. "But now I have to, yep, gotta go!" I gave her a kiss and turned out the light and went to the bathroom for a little while.

Almost done "Hyperion" by the way, like ALMOST FINISHED, it taking forever to get through the last story though, I haven't had much time for it. I can't wait! Unfortunately I have no idea when I might be able to read the next three books in the series. Sheesh.

Books

I finally finished Rant by Chuck Palahniuk, am soldiering on through Hyperion and have picked back up Jack The Ripper: First American Serial Killer.

Rant is not a long or difficult book, but when you mostly only read while on the toilet it can take a while to get through something. Rant is an interesting book, funny and clever with an interesting vision of the future, although a future that would require many unusual and unlikely things to occur. Worth reading, especially if you like Palahniuk.

Hyperion is great but it's taking me a while to get through it. The format is a little tedious, the individual stories of something like 7 people all visiting the planet of Hyperion in order to get to the bottom of what The Time Tombs are, and The Shrike and how to solve their individual problems. But, the stories are so damn good you rarely have that nagging voice in your head asking, "when's the damn STORY going to start?!" which I get a lot when reading something in this format.

Jack the Ripper: First American Serial Killer compiles a lot of police reports, coroner's inquests, newspaper articles and other archival material to make the case that Jack the Ripper was American. It's really dry, but pretty fascinating and gruesome. I especially enjoy reading it in the park with little children running about.

After-School Special (the poo)

mmmm, hmmmm. Last day of school, split a pitcher with a friend, got back to the girlfriend's house (the girlfriend who doesn't know about this blog and wouldn't understand), and had a nice poo while reading Gordon Ramsay's new book "Gordon Ramsay's Fast Food".

Not very many vegetarian dishes in the book but we're going to pick something from it to make for our gay vegetarian friend Dylan tomorrow evening. A couple of weeks ago we had a nice success with the carmelized banana split, so we thought we'd try something new. He's going to be doing a signing later in the month so we figured we ought to pick a couple of favourite recipes in case he asks.

The poo was quite comfortable. It just sort of slid out without much fuss. Not a memorable poo, but then again that's probably a good thing.

A typical poo

Pretty straight forward poo this evening. Wasn't really feeling much all day but knew it was steadily building. Not much to comment on with this one except that I was reading a good little comic by Adrian Tomine while pooing it.

The comic involves an asian guy meeting a bisexual girl at a lesbian party. His lesbian friend doesn't want him to bother with her but they go out and get involved. I didn't finish it because the poo was so quick. It's in the Best American Comics 2007 book edited by Chris Ware. Nice artwork, clever, all that good stuff.

This poo did remind me of why I started this collection. I've long been fascinated by the sculptural quality of poo and this is a prime example. Look how the poo has fallen upon itself, folded and broke, collected at the bottom of the toilet piled on top of itself. You know they always say no two snowflakes are alike but if you bother to think about it, no two poos look the same either.