Poos and News

In the news, a Man sent poo through the mail, now he's being indicted. But first:

This poo must have been brewing for a while. Maybe I'm sick, I don't know, but the last few days my stomach hasn't taken much time off from rumbling and gurgling and I've been very gassy.

Well today I was at school in the computer lab and it eventually became apparent that I needed to poo so I headed off to the handicap washroom (single toilet, locking door, quite nice) to make my dump. It started with a spattering of shit and fluid like most of them have been lately. You can see at the bottom of the image a phlegmy looking item, but it isn't phlegm, it came out of my ass. I had always been under the impression that Santorum only resulted from anal sex, but this seems to be about the same kind of stuff as I've heard about. Who can say?

Anyhow, it was gross (as it usually is), but as has been the case in recent days this poo was not without complexity.

What started with a spattering of shit and fluids became a drip, drop, plop of cheesy-shaped shits that really turned my stomach. They resembled those dense, crunchy cheesies, not so much the cat poo-looking ones, and they were light, i guess, so they tended to dangle prior to the plunge. All I wanted was a good, satisfying SHIT, but instead I got a series of tiny, gassy, dangling bastard poops trotting out of my asshole like dawdling school children. Finally the last one made its way through and I sat comfortably as my innards resettled themselves and I wiggled my backside to prevent any danglers from following me off the toilet as I took the photo.

Now to our top story:

http://www.argusleader.com/article/20090108/NEWS/901080329/1001

A Sioux Falls man was indicted Tuesday in federal court for allegedly sending animal feces through the mail. Jeffrey Scott DeZeeuw, 45, is charged in U.S. District Court in Sioux Falls with mailing injurious articles. The indictment alleges that on July 21, DeZeeuw sent animal feces in a letter addressed to the Minnehaha County Clerk of Courts.

and:

C-Monster says no to art involving bodily fluids.

http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/art/archives/158917.asp?from=blog_last3

With commentary by another blogger.

On the Runs

Something in my lower guts quivered as my girlfriend and I walked towards Bloor street after having dinner at Shanghai Cowgirl. I'd had the same thing as last time, the Philly Cheese sandwich, but this evening the sauce tasted a bit different. I thought maybe it was just a bit too creamy, or instead of actually using mushrooms they used a can of soup. Whatever it was it didn't taste so great.

I don't neccessarily blame the food there for what happened though. The only other thing I'd had to eat during the day was a small glass of Mudslide, a sausage from the street corner and a can of coke. And I had a can of pepsi with the Philly Cheese sandwich.

By the time we got to Harbord it was decided that I would go directly to my girlfriend's house and she would continue up to Bloor to rent a movie and get some candy. I really didn't feel like getting any candy though.

The walk on Harbord from Spadina to Bathurst was intense. I felt sweat beading up on my ass and thighs. I couldn't be sure it wasn't poo leaking out of my ass. I didn't dare let out any farts or unclench my buttocks for any reason. I knew this would be a gusher.

I made it up the stairs to my girlfriend's apartment, opened the door, grabbed a book ("Hyperion") and undid my pants. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get my pants off in time and almost cursed the decision to waste precious miliseconds picking up the book, but I managed to sit down on the toilet in time to let it all out.

ugh, what a sound.

and the smell!

Of course, nothing really beats the sensation of expelling something foul from your body.

Noisy Poo

This one made a lot of noise on its way through my guts. Wow! I tried to record it with my cell phone but you couldn't make out my belly's gurgling and squelching very well. Sorry about that.

I should mention too that this was a first thing in the morning poo. I can't even say I was totally awake when this started working its way out. I hadn't even showered yet (which is usually how I like to do it).