Ah HA! Poo on you!!

So early in this blog I got a lot of comments about how unhealthy my shits looked. A lot of people said things like, "ugh, those poos look so soft!" or "What's with the pale colour? That can't be healthy!" etc, etc.

Well look at me now!!

I was shocked by this shit. It felt stiff coming out but when I sat up to look at it I was surprised by just how firm it appeared. Look at it! Click on the image and get the full size and look at it! Their like two wooden sticks man!

But guess what! In all the time that I've been making this blog the past two days were probably two of my worst days nutritionally. Tonight I ate two Whoppers from burger king because I got a 2-for-1 coupon. In the afternoon I drank a coffee. For lunch I had a slice of pizza and a bottle of coke. Breakfast was a big fat cinnamon roll. Last night I ate two Whoppers for dinner (there were a few coupons). Lunch yesterday was soup, and I drank coffee. Sunday I ate half a bag of chips for breakfast and followed that up with a bottle of coke and a king-sized twix for brunch.

Does that sound like a healthy diet? No? So how could it possibly produce such a "healthy-looking" shit? It couldn't possibly. The only conclusion that I can draw is that the people who poo-pooed my shits simply saw shits that were different from their own and judged them to be unhealthy, or "wrong". This happens so often in life. It's where racism comes from.

Olympic Crap

Watched a good chunk of the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Bejing. Pretty impressive. Lots of people. Haven't got much to comment on. I always enjoy the Olympics, the summer Olympics more than the winter ones, just because it's warmer and doesn't generally pre-empt favourite television programming.

Unfortunately the commercials make me want McDonald's, which isn't a good thing.

Montreal Poo #1

It was a long drive with several stops of questionable nutritionality before we reached montreal with a mission of eating smoked meat, poutine and bagels (separately of course).

This poo came the morning after our arrival when all I'd had to eat the day before was coke (of course), a wendy's double cheeseburger, granola bars and some okay Indian food on Rue St-Denis.

My girlfriend was up already and she said she heard my phone camera shutter sound effect but our two travel-mates were still fast asleep.

As you can tell I must have really needed to poo since you can see that the poo has topped the water line. I hate it when it does that.

Exclamation!

So I got up at 5, got dressed, ate some mini-wheats and left my girlfriend's apartment with the intention of coming home, doing today's p90x workout, eating some more breakfast and having my day get off to a strong start before 9am.

I didn't feel all that tired. I felt pretty good considering the recipe I made for dinner last night called for a 1/4 glass of white wine, so I drank the rest of it. I got home and had Poo #1 up there at the top. Not much of a poo. I thought there'd be a lot more but even that little bit was hard to get out.

I sat down at my computer and had a look at what the day's workout had in store for me and decided to have a nap. After an hour though I still didn't feel up to it. I guess I was in fact hung over a little. tch tch. So I slept some more, until about 9:15 or so I guess. Feeling much better I got up and guess what! Another poo (#2)! Much more satisfying, the kind of poo I want to have when I'm hung over. Cleansing, you know?

So now I'm feeling much better, but it's too late in the morning to work out, so I'm doing more productive things and will work out in the afternoon.

P.S.: I made Gordon Ramsay's Baked Chicken in a zucchini, eggplant and tomato ragout and it was REALLY GOOD. Just about the best chicken I've ever made. I highly recommend picking up "Fast Food", great recipes and nice design too!

This poo spilled out of my ass.

I knew it would too. I could feel it. It's my fault for not pooing earlier. I had to poo earlier today but it wasn't like I NEEDED to, so I waited. I won a cheeseburger by peeling off the sticker from a Burger King fries so i redeemed that instead of pooing. I knew that would come back to haunt me, but it was a free burger and I had to return a movie anyway.

By the time I got home I didn't have to poo at all, which is never a good sign. I didn't do much this afternoon, and I didn't feel like doing much so I made a cup of coffee to get me motivated. Motivated onto the toilet apparently.

You ever get that feeling in your bowels where you know that if you were forced to run you'd end up with shit going down the backs of your legs? Yeah, I had that going on. Luckily I wasn't in gym class ('cause I've been through that before), so I just made my way to the toilet and sat down with "Rant". Out it came in one foul sploosh. Ick. Not watery at all though, just you know, soft and in bits and pieces, as you can see. I read about one page and then I was done so I snapped the pic and here you go!

My job interview on tuesday went fairly well by the way. As long as the other applicants were dumb-bells I'm a shoe-in. But who knows. I got an email from another job I thought I'd be appropriate for this morning rejecting my application. bastards. Glad I slept in.

Oh yeah!

Here we go! This is why we're here isn't it?! One nice, long, thick cable to brag about! Yes!

Last night I cooked for my girlfriend and myself. It was the Sticky Lemon Chicken with Champ recipe from Gordon Ramsay's Fast Food book. It was really good and quite simple to make. Didn't cost much either. I think next time I'll slice up the chicken a bit thinner, or maybe even cut into it so that some of the flavour makes its way inside the meat, but yeah, it was pretty darn good.

I'm into the final week of Phase One of p90x, and I'm pretty excited to be done with some of the workouts. I realize the workouts coming up in Phase Two will be at least as tough but I'm just getting tired of some of the banter of the videos. It'll be nice to change it up some.

So I'm still looking for work. I think it's going to come down to me calling up offices and asking if I can work for them on a volunteer basis, for free. I'm not sure exactly how to do that, or if it is done, but I can't let this be another Lost Summer. Wish me luck!

Curry!

Sorry, but I missed a poo. I took a poo sunday afternoon but didn't take a picture of it. I apologize. I was at my girlfriend's place and she would have wondered if she had heard the shutter sound from my phone camera in the bathroom. I was not prepared to explain this whole thing.

My girlfriend and I had some friends over to her place on saturday and we made the Vegetable Curry from Gordon Ramsay's Fast Food. It was pretty darn good and everything from the rice to the naan bread to the curry came together perfectly.

This shit was likely the result of that dinner because the one before that had been brewing for about two days. I didn't poo at all between friday afternoon and sunday afternoon, so the poo I had probably didn't contain any of the curry. This poo, this morning, however, most likely was all curry. I always get lots of little poos with tiny floaty bits when I've eaten a lot of vegetables. So there you have it.

After-School Special (the poo)

mmmm, hmmmm. Last day of school, split a pitcher with a friend, got back to the girlfriend's house (the girlfriend who doesn't know about this blog and wouldn't understand), and had a nice poo while reading Gordon Ramsay's new book "Gordon Ramsay's Fast Food".

Not very many vegetarian dishes in the book but we're going to pick something from it to make for our gay vegetarian friend Dylan tomorrow evening. A couple of weeks ago we had a nice success with the carmelized banana split, so we thought we'd try something new. He's going to be doing a signing later in the month so we figured we ought to pick a couple of favourite recipes in case he asks.

The poo was quite comfortable. It just sort of slid out without much fuss. Not a memorable poo, but then again that's probably a good thing.