Slacking off now

Well it's been a good summer. This will be my 112th post, almost all of which have included a photo of my poo. If you've noticed a pattern here, or a common theme, so have I, and to be honest I'm getting a little bored.

So I can't say that this will be my last post on I Poo Daily, but I probably won't post again unless I have something particularly interesting to share with you.

And who knows, if for some reason people actually start visiting this site perhaps I'll start posting on a regular basis again, but right now I kind of feel the way I did before I started this blog, like all my poos were just going down the drain. I've preserved some of them here, and I feel good about that, but you know, if a bear shits in the forest and nobody ever sees it, does it have a smell?

Alone

No, I don't feel alone at all. I didn't poo at all today until my girlfriend and I got home from her brother's birthday dinner. They're chinese, and I mean the family is chinese. My girlfriend and her brother would be happy to go to swiss chalet or something I'm sure but when grandma is there and dad and step-mom, it calls for a nice big chinese dinner.

So we headed out to North York, or wherever, to one of the many strip malls full of authentic chinese restaurants. It was packed!

This is not the kind of chinese restaurant that serves chicken balls and special fried rice, no way man, peking duck, dumplings, some kind of spicy deep fried pork chop, jellyfish (I ate Jellyfish!, it was crunchy in a strange way, completely different from what I ever expected jellyfish to be like and unlike anything else I've ever eaten).

It was great, lots of delicious food, but so greasy! I was really surprised that this poo was so small, I was expecting the entire evening's meal to just slide right out of me. Instead all I got was this little guy. Cute.

I see a theme here

The last couple of days have been pretty soupy, don't really know what to tell you. At least they're quick!

Encore!

This came pretty quickly after the last one, but as you can see there's not a lot of content there. A few little bits, mostly gas. I don't really know what's going on down there.

Vincent Gallo

Have you ever heard Vincent Gallo's album "When"? It's really really good, and the only reason I've heard it is because of my crazy dad.

My dad knew someone who's son had a radio show or something maybe. I don't know exactly. Anyhow, one day I came home to visit and he said there was a box of cds in the basement and I should have a look through and take whatever I want. There were a bunch of samplers and multiples of bad independently produced albums. There were a few that seemed maybe worth my time but the only one I listen to was what appeared to be a preview of Galo's "When".

I knew who Vincent Gallo was, I might have even known that he did some music, but I mostly just knew him from his movies, so this was of interest to me. I put on the cd and it was completely different from what I ever imagined her would create. I'm not a music guy so I'm not going to describe it except to say that it's a good album to listen to when you're lonely and sad and you've been up for the last 20 hours or more, drifting in and out of sleep and sobbing.

The Sequel

Last night I had a hefty shit pursuaded after a full day of nothing by a giant goat roti but after I finished I still felt a little, you know, shitty. Like maybe that wasn't all.

Now this is probably all roti, whereas the one last night was probably just the previous day's worth of food, but you know, I even considered posting the two together, they felt like part of the same shit.

Whatever, it was good.

Whoa, finally!

Didn't poo today until just now, 10:39pm. Yikes. My girlfriend thinks it's because I didn't have any coke today, but I think I had some yesterday, so I don't know if that really has anything to do with it.

Usually I poo in the morning and then if I don't then I poo in the afternoon. I was beginning to feel sheepish about my lack of movements until lying down for bed after a massively stuffing dinner.

Oh dinner. We got Roti from up the street. My girlfriend had the boneless chicken. I thought I'd try something new, so I got goat. It was great! It was huge, and my girlfriend didn't finish all of hers, so I did. Then I moaned and rolled around too full to be humble. Just as we were getting into bed I said, "Guess what! I haven't pooed today!" The girlfriend had a slightly concerned look. "But now I have to, yep, gotta go!" I gave her a kiss and turned out the light and went to the bathroom for a little while.

Almost done "Hyperion" by the way, like ALMOST FINISHED, it taking forever to get through the last story though, I haven't had much time for it. I can't wait! Unfortunately I have no idea when I might be able to read the next three books in the series. Sheesh.

The News - August 22, 2008

2.6 Billion People in the World don't have a safe place to Poop (with video)

Teen throws shit on Pregnant Woman in Walgreens, gets probation. Baby is okay.


Clear your mind by inhaling the fumes from burning Cow Dung


New trend in Cake design attracts flies


$1 Million for hog farmers who get energy from waste!

Parasite makes several sick through poo in pool

"Why won't my daughter Poop?" serious issue.

Chew gum after colon surgery to help the poops

Quarantine baby poop with new space-age product

There it is!

I knew it was up there somewhere. Wasn't a happy poo, but then I knew that would be the case. Actually, I'm kind of depressed in general today. It was probably the pound of Buffalo Wings washed down with a can of coke last night. Then I went and had a greasy slice of pizza from Bitondo's for lunch and washed that down with coke as well. Always a winning combination.

Piddly poop

My guts don't feel so great. They feel a little runny inside, but for some reason this was all I could squeeze out this morning. I don't think that's the end of it for today, but I kind of hope it is.

Beers. Shits.

I didn't realize while it was happening just how much shit was coming out of my ass, but I should have realized.

Last night was my friend R___'s birthday party at a nice restaurant/bar on Markham street. I had three pints of beer and (probably what tipped me into the shits) a Manhattan. At the end of the night other people were ordering martinis so I thought I'd get a Manhattan. It was tasty.

The shits didn't hit me right away in the morning, I guess because I wasn't too drunk the night before, even though I was a bit hung over with an unpleasant headache. Still, the shits waited until my headache was cleared up and I'd had a lot of water to drink. Maybe that was better.

Anyhow, the night before my girlfriend and I made chicken burritos and you can make out a yellow kernel of corn in the bottom right corner of that pile of shit. Apparently I should chew better.

Silver and Gold! And Bronze! and Poo!

Canada has finally won some medals! We won a gold in women's wrestling 48kg, a Bronze in women's wrestling 55kg and a Silver in men's pairs rowing! Hooray!

In other news I had this shit earlier in the day. Not too shabby eh?

The News - August 15, 2008

3 Million Chicken Factory Farm Fuels itself


Blogger's family chips in to clean up after young son poops everywhere


House-Sized inflatable Dog shit downs power lines in Switzerland


Poop Report asks, "Does Exercising Help You Poop?"


New York spa give $200 bird shit facials


New Toilet Incinerates your Waste

New York Fringe Festival Features "For Reasons Unknown" about a man who discovers a Poo in his apartment

(satire) How much does Michael Phelps poop?

Poo Tooth

I bought a bluetooth adapater for my PC so I can use my Wii controller with my computer to do stuff like this, and this.

Johnny Chung Lee is one of my new heroes, partly because he sounds like Kermit the Frog and partly because he's the from the golden age of invention. People like Theremin, Tesla or Marconi who just like to build stuff and make stuff work, aren't immediately concerned with making money off it, but basically just want to play.

So I haven't built my IR light pen yet, but I will soon. In the mean time I downloaded a program that allows me to use the Wiimote as a mouse and it seems to work really well. It's awkward and totally not practical but it's kind of fun.

Olympics

Been watching the Olympic Games with my girlfriend most mornings and evenings lately. We enjoy the games, we like it when people perform well, or beyond their previous best, so it's been a good games for that. Especially in Canada.

Seems like every Canadian athlete has beaten their personal best or beaten the Canadian record, but none of it is good enough to win a medal! Very disappointing. Apparently the best is yet to come though, so maybe we'll win something soon.

How many times have YOU crapped in your life?

I guess it's an odd thing to look at as an accomplishment, but this is my 97th post, including I think two or three no-photo posts, but also including several "double" posts, so I'd say I've got photos of about 100 shits on this blog.

And there's no way to avoid equating that with the fact that I have had over 100 bowel movements since I started this blog. I don't think that's something people think about very often. How many shits have you taken in your life? I can't answer that question for myself, but if you were to ask me how many shits have I taken in the last three months or so, I could easily tell you that it has been about 100.

My girlfriend could answer this question much more easily because she is an incredibly regular person. She shits every day at about 8:00 am. When she doesn't she gets worried. The last couple of days she has been a little worried. Somehow she forgot to take her pill on sunday, then on monday she didn't have to poo. Monday evening when she went to take her monday pill she realized she'd missed one so she took two. Tuesday morning she didn't have to poo. Could it be that The Pill makes not just your periods more predictable but also your shits?! Wednesday morning she pooed and was very happy about it. She also told me not to write about her ordeal. She also told me she doesn't read this blog, can't read this blog, won't read this blog. I'm okay with that. Nobody reads this blog.

But even if nobody reads this blog I will continue to post pictures of my poo. I don't have a goal in mind, this is an open ended project. I can't imagine why I'd stop. It's just so easy to do. So here's to another 100 poos, and a hundred more after that, and 1000 more beyond, ad nauseum.

POOr Choices

10:34am


7:17pm

We still don't have a cabinet in our bathroom, so we don't have a mirror, so my roommate has been using a small hand mirror and I have a somewhat larger mirror in my room (I stole this mirror when I worked for a framing store. There was a scrap piece of mirror that was sort of in between too small to keep and too big to throw out, so I stole a frame for it, put it together and brought it home. It's a few years old now) that I use.

I kind of had to poo all afternoon but couldn't really commit to the action. My face has been stubbly because I prefer to shave with my straight razor but because there's no mirror in the bathroom I try not to shower at my house and my girlfriend doesn't like the straight razor, etc, etc, so I was shaving with my electric razor in my bedroom when I felt like I really ought to poo.

So I took the razor into the bathroom and had a seat and started to shit. It wasn't until the first little log hit the water that I realized I'd left my cell phone in my bedroom. Well I finished what I was doing and wiped but, well I really didn't want to flush it away, and this new toilet is a little small to accomodate toilet paper while leaving a good view of the shit, so I wiped and carefully placed each of the three wads of toilet paper I used on the edge of the bathtub while I ran back to my room to get my camera phone.

Nobody who lives with me will be happy to hear about this, but I swear that the poo did not touch the tub, I was very careful about it. But I apologize, I should have realized sooner that my phone was in my bedroom.

Poo Knight

Finally saw Dark Knight this afternoon, in IMAX, with my girlfriend, exactly as I'd hope to see it.

My girlfriend wasn't 100% keen on seeing the movie at first and she really didn't give a shit if she saw it in IMAX or what, but because I "really really" wanted to she conceded and happened to finish work early this afternoon, so we decided to go (me being a bum it was not difficult to clear my schedule).

So it was great. It had problems with reality, asked you to make a couple of leaps in logic, but overall didn't ask too much and was plenty entertaining along the way.

The film's biggest fault is Christian Bale's Batman voice, or growl, or whatever you want to call it. I don't mind him having a husky, menacing Batman voice, but if it gets difficult to understand, you gotta scale it back, and when he's pleading with someone with a gun to a child's head, and it's a fairly emotional scene, you might expect Bruce Wayne's voice to peek through a crack here and there.

But whatever, it was epic, it didn't drag ever, and it was exciting.

Oh yeah, Heath Ledger. He was great too. I can't say Oscar though because what the fuck, he's playing a character, and he's clearly playing a "character". At one point during one of his diatribes I actually found myself wondering, "where did this guy come from?" What I mean is, we know why Batman is fucked up, we get to see why Two-Face is fucked up, but why the fuck is the Joker so fucked up? His stories about how he got his scars are different each time he tells it. Ledger makes him a very interesting character but unfortunately there's nothing there to discover. Maybe the Nolan brothers can tell us about what they had to cut for time in the DVD commentary.

Now on to the poo: Can't think of anything. Sorry.

News - August 11, 2008

Denver bans the carrying of Poo or Pee in anticipation of Democratic Convention

Blogger discusses how much better her poos have been since going Vegetarian

C. Defficile cured with Fecal Transplant Procedure

Pooing at the Olympics

Radioactive Seagulls? Crap.

Police search for couple who smeared baby shit and pizza on motel room walls

Incense from Moose Poop. Wonderful.

Dead Batteries

I've been feeling really low energy lately. Just don't feel much like doing anything, including p90x, although I have been doing that.

It's been tough though, especially to get through the really unpleasant workout like plyometrics and yoga. Even legs and back is too much for me. And this is supposed to be my last week. I'm starting my last recovery week today, but I don't know if I'm going to actually do any of it. I feel kind of lazy.

It's my diet, I know. I don't eat well, I don't even think about what I put in my mouth most of the time. Lately there's been not a LOT of coke, but more coffee. Eggs, ham, cheese, and then snacks here and there. Lots of granola bars, that sort of thing.

I have to say though, even if I haven't been following the diet very well p90x has made a huge difference in my body. My arms look pretty serious and my abs are honestly a little washboard like. I put on a tight white tank top of my girlfriend's yesterday and finally saw my physique without all that body hair in the way. I'm impressed! Still really slender of course, leaner than I'd like to be, but definitely in the ball park I've been working towards, which is VERY encouraging. I was actually feeling like my results weren't much, but I can't really SEE anything through my bodyhair. It's funny.

Books

I finally finished Rant by Chuck Palahniuk, am soldiering on through Hyperion and have picked back up Jack The Ripper: First American Serial Killer.

Rant is not a long or difficult book, but when you mostly only read while on the toilet it can take a while to get through something. Rant is an interesting book, funny and clever with an interesting vision of the future, although a future that would require many unusual and unlikely things to occur. Worth reading, especially if you like Palahniuk.

Hyperion is great but it's taking me a while to get through it. The format is a little tedious, the individual stories of something like 7 people all visiting the planet of Hyperion in order to get to the bottom of what The Time Tombs are, and The Shrike and how to solve their individual problems. But, the stories are so damn good you rarely have that nagging voice in your head asking, "when's the damn STORY going to start?!" which I get a lot when reading something in this format.

Jack the Ripper: First American Serial Killer compiles a lot of police reports, coroner's inquests, newspaper articles and other archival material to make the case that Jack the Ripper was American. It's really dry, but pretty fascinating and gruesome. I especially enjoy reading it in the park with little children running about.

the long and short of it, plus Pinapple Express

1:32am


1:18pm

In Montreal Pineapple Express is called Anana Express. This was one of the delights of the city we discovered on our trip a couple weeks ago.

Went to see it with my girlfriend last night. It was funny! It was a lot better than the reviews said, although it is purely stupid. It's not a SMART comedy by any stretch. I don't know what Eye magazine was expecting. Too much apparently because I thoroughly enjoyed it. And I don't even smoke pot. I've never even been high. Whatever. Go see it and laugh, don't try to analyze it.

In pooing news, I pooed as soon as we got home from the movie. It felt like it would be more, but it was just a decent long one, followed twelve hours later by an unpleasant little explosion of shit.

Lately my diet has followed nothing resembling a pattern and thus, neither have my poos.

Olympic Crap

Watched a good chunk of the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Bejing. Pretty impressive. Lots of people. Haven't got much to comment on. I always enjoy the Olympics, the summer Olympics more than the winter ones, just because it's warmer and doesn't generally pre-empt favourite television programming.

Unfortunately the commercials make me want McDonald's, which isn't a good thing.

Skip a day, easy poo anyway

I didn't poo yesterday. I really thought I would have to, but I didn't.

The other night I ate the greasiest calzone of my life. Calzones are probably supposed to be greasy, since they're made with just cheese and sauce, but man, this was squishy!

I got it from Bitondo's, which happens to be just around the corner from my house (and is pretty famous for cheap, huge greasy pizza slices of just one variety) and it was already something like 10pm. I was ridiculously stuffed and greasy feeling after, and not particularly happy with myself. I kind of expected to wake up and have to take a monster shit right away... but I didn't. I didn't poo all day. I was starting to get concerned, but whatever. I knew it would happen eventually, and it did!

Man, now I want one of those fucking calzones again. Bastards!

Catch-Up

10:46am


4:41pm

Well it looks like all the coke and beer from the weekend caught up to me... with a splash. Although the poutine on Monday night probably didn't help.

Went to Utopia on college street for what is hailed as one of the best orders of poutine in the city (runner up to The Blue Chip Truck in front of Nathan Philips Square). It was a good poutine, tasty gravy, real curds, etc. The fries though, they were a little tough. Like they'd been fried, sat around for a long time and then fried again. Or maybe a few times. I don't know. They weren't frozen, pretty sure of that, but they were tough. Hard to describe.

And before the poutine I finished off some left over ribs from the weekend so I was really stuffed. Funny how your poo can look like what you ate, eh? Cheese Curds anyone?

Also: Found another poo blog. I guess I have some competition. If I was an outside observer I think I'd still prefer I Poo Daily to Daily Poo Poo though. See, GI Poo understands that people don't really want to get up close and personal with other people's shits, that's why he continues to use his cheap cell phone camera, he mostly prefers the fuzzy, kind of out of focus poo pictures. They're more abstract that way, leave a little to the imagination. Y'know?

It funny how similar our blogs are though. I suggest you read us both!

Pooing in Suburbia Part 3

Last poo of the weekend!

My girlfriend came out on the train on Sunday to meet my aunt and have some relaxing cable television. It was great to see her after two days without her. We're so in love!

My mom made pancakes and bacon for lunch, but a reasonable amount, unlike last time, then for dinner my dad smoked a few racks of ribs and bbq'd some corn on the cob. It was pretty damn good, although the ribs kind of just tasted like ham, and they didn't have any sauce at all. Not dry though and still yummy so there's no complaints.

Suburban Chinese Food (not Markham)

So I felt a little stranded for dinner Saturday night. My parents were out entertaining my aunt in Toronto and I was stuck in the suburbs with no food in the house. Okay, there might have been some eggs, maybe some bread, flour, etc. But nothing that jumped out at me as food. Cooking doesn't really seem like an option when I'm visiting my parents, so yeah, I felt kind of abandoned.

So I ordered Chinese Food. I ordered kind of a lot. I don't know why, I guess I just wanted some variety. There's a place called Mr. Wok's next to the convenience store a 15 minute walk from my parents house. It sounds like a franchise, but it isn't, and it doesn't look like one either. i don't know what they're going for, but whatever.

It was greasy and not very good anyway. That's probably my fault. I should have just gotten the sweet and sour chicken balls and special fried rice, but I had to get fancy. I got chicken chow mein, sweet and sour spare ribs and chicken fried rice, with egg rolls and fortune cookies. Pretty adventurous.

Pooing Back Home part 1

9:34am


12:53pm

Well the first poo of the weekend looked pretty good to me, but the next one gave me some concern. On friday I had a coke and a pizza slice for lunch and then a beer or two and some more coke, then I went out with a friend to Don Cherry's and ate a big hamburger covered in cheese and jalapenos, with a big glass of coke of course. Lunch today consisted of some chips, maybe a small bowl of cereal. Not a good pattern to set for the weekend, but there it is.

News - August 1, 2008

Human Feces on the Beach

A private beach in Topeka Kansas may have been the target of a fecal prank as numerous logs of human crap washed up on the shore. Irresponsible and disgusting if it was indeed a prank, but it may also have been the result of overwhelmed water treatment facilities.

Angry Black Protestors "Feces Bomb" Houston buildings and Cars

According to this article there's something of a trend in civil disobedience going on in the states. People are throwing, smearing and other depositing their poos on the property of people or organizations they don't aggree with. I find it rather telling however that the article says it's something black people do and that the practice started in prisons. Just sayin' it's not necessarily black folks doing it.
(in a related story: Vandals throw feces, deface Middle Smithfield Pizzeria)

Animal Feed Factory want to be powered by Turkey Poo

...but nearby residents are worried that it will smell. Why does this always come up? Do they think the people who work there want to smell turkey shit all day? Put simply in the article 'you can't burn wet, smelly shit and it won't be out in the open anyway" so get over it.

BC Gas Company wants to take advantage of Human Waste

This project will burn gas produced in the treatment of sewage to produce electricity, sounds a lot better than just dumping it in the ocean, eh Victoria, BC?

Back at the PooRents

I'm spending a few days at my parents house. My aunt is visiting and a friend of mine wants to work on a creative project together.

I don't expect to eat well and it's more than likely that I will be posting my pictures some days after the trip so I won't be able to remember a whole bunch.

I suppose if I really try I'd be able to remember what I ate, so who knows.