Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Been caught pooing, once, when I was five!



Oh I've been GASSY! Last night was pretty terrible. It's a good thing my girlfriend loves me so much because I was farting up a storm! She was farting quite a bit too, but I couldn't stop. the trouble was though, I didn't feel much like taking a shit. It didn't feel that urgent, so I didn't bother. I was afraid if I went and sat on the toilet it would just be more gas anyway, so I left it until this morning.

The first poo came out in an explosion of gas and shit spatter you can see some of the flecks. It wasn't really painful but it was kind of unpleasant. It was short however. Much shorter than I thought it would be. Turned out I wasn't finished.

About an hour later came a very urgent call from nature. call of nature. whatever. I sat down and it just oozed out of me. you can't see too well because this poo was actually layered. First was the soft shifts, almost like beer shits but with more cohesion. Like soft serve ice cream I guess. That layer nearly peaked out of the water, which is never very nice. I guess I should have taken a shot then, sorry. Next came little gassy sputters much like the first poo there. Soon it became apparent that this was just the break between courses. Finally the third layer of shit came in relatively uniform clumps as you can see. This must have been from the curry we made last night. Lots of veggies and spices and stuff. it was pretty good.

Isn't it great to think about your food like this? It's really just pre-shit! Delicious!!

Speaking of food, I found a No Frills grocery store near my brother's place and I'm almost positive it's closer than Dufferin Mall, which is great because I HATE that No Frills (too small and crowded). The worrisome part about this No Frills however is that it's right next to an LCBO and a Blockbuster. But I'll just have to be strong and resist the temptation to skip school to drink and play videogames.

Oh man, I wish you could hear the noises my guts are making right now! Holy Shit! I think there could be a good one for you tonight!

No comments: