Vancouver Pooin'

I am actually writing this post from The Future, specifically January 4th, 2009 and I cannot recall the circumstances of each poo as they appear here. I apologize. In the future I will take care to make notes. What I will say is that these poos were made between the dates of December 22nd, 2008 and January 3rd, 2009.

Flight, coffee, poor diet and the gentle stress of travel has resulted in a touch of constipation. This is actually the first poo I've had since arriving in Vancouver on December 26th. As you'll notice it is now the 28th. Yuck.

But consider this: You fly to Vancouver to meet your girlfriend's mother. She usually lives in China but is in the city for work. She has a nice suite at a downtown hotel so you and your girlfriend are staying with the mother. How keen would you be to go take a shit while they watch HGTV in the next room? yeah.

Christmas Poo!

1:00am

10:50am

I am actually writing this post from The Future, specifically January 4th, 2009 and I cannot recall the circumstances of each poo as they appear here. I apologize. In the future I will take care to make notes. What I will say is that these poos were made between the dates of December 22nd, 2008 and January 3rd, 2009.

Merry Christmas!

I got a book, The Death and Life of Great American Cities by Jane Jacobs, a DVD of Bottle Rocket by Wes Anderson, a gift card for $50 redeemable at a number of affiliated restaurants, a black sweater, TWO slankets (!!!!), some cash, and a subscription for Seed Magazine. It was a pretty good christmas even though my girlfriend is in Vancouver visiting her mom. I'll be joining her on Boxing Day though, so it's not too bad.

On holiday

I am on holiday, but I don't want you to think that I won't be making poo and taking pictures of it. That will certainly continue. The difference however is that I won't be posting my poos until I get back. Although, I should remind you once again that I always date my posts according to when the photo was taken, so if you are reading these posts in the future you will notice no strange clumps. The calendar will look normal, etc.

For example, here's something I like to do when I find a blog that is no longer being added to: Let's say I get onto a blog and the last post was two years ago. I'll go back to the first year that the blog was in existence, and I'll find the date that corresponds to the current day from which I am viewing the post. It may be January 4th, 2009 where I am but I'll start reading the blog from the January 4th, 2005 entry and I won't read ahead. That way I preserve all the pacing and boredom of the original publication. 

I don't really do that, but i always thought it would be fun. Like watching a movie that takes place in real time.

So, all that being said I am actually writing this post from The Future, specifically January 4th, 2009 and I cannot recall the circumstances of each poo as they appear here. I apologize. In the future I will take care to make notes. What I will say is that these poos were made between the dates of December 22nd, 2008 and January 3rd, 2009.

Like a christmas fruit cake... of poo

This poo was a little bit of everything, just look at those smooth logs at the bottom, the chunky Oh Henry type pieces on top. And you can't tell but there are a few kibbles in there too. Quite a horror show this one was!

And it occurred in the basement bathroom where I am now living. Not an ideal place to take a shit and I'll tell you why. First, the toilet is not very securely fastened to the ground. It wobbles as you shift your weight, especially when you wipe. Secondly, there is no fan in the bathroom, so you're left to swim in your own stank. Third, the bathroom is right next to my office area in the basement, meaning that the un-exhausted stank floats effortlessly towards where I do things like post pictures of my poo on the internet. So I'm not sure how often I'll use this bathroom.

Plus, as you may be able to tell the lighting is bad for poo shots. There's a lot of glare because the light is almost right above the toilet and the ceiling is low. The up-side of the low ceiling is that the closeness of the light makes my shadow look huge when I'm sitting on the toilet. It's kind of fun.

It's almost christmas, which will be spent at my parents house, followed by a trip to vancouver to visit my girlfriend's mom, so don't expect an update until I get back. I will try, however, to capture as many of my poos for you so I can post them later. If you are reading this in the future you will not notice any difference though because I always date my posts according to when the photo was taken, not when I wrote the post. Please excuse the deception, I think it helps the blog flow.

Pooin' at Work

No, I don't really have a job, but today I worked a few hours at my old job at the framing store. The place is falling apart. Business is in the toilet, customer service is a luxury the boss doesn't feel she can afford to provide, staff morale is sub-basement and I don't even think the standard of work has been preserved. It's a disaster. Oh, and the funny thing is the reason I worked there at all. I called and asked if they were busy and said I'd be willing to work a bit if they needed me. The boss said sure I could come in, but basically used me as an excuse to not come into work. So they didn't need me, she just didn't want to be bothered to do anything. Good priorities!

Oh, and here's what the toilet looks like:

A Poo Monster

Does this remind you of The Thing? It reminds me of The Thing somewhat. Realy gross, not of this world, etc, etc. I wouldn't have bothered to document this one except that it was so hideous and I happened to have my camera/phone in the bathroom with me.

It used to be that I never pooed without my camera, but as you can tell by the dates of these posts it is becoming a more rare occurence. Hope you don't mind. I just thought I'd cut back to posting only the great poos. The truly exceptional ones. I think this counts.

First Poo in the New House!!

Oh hooray.

So last night I met up with some friends from school to sing Karaoke at The Gladstone hotel's Melody Bar. It was a blast! My girlfriend even came, which was great because she got to see me sing Subterranean Homesick Blues by Bob Dylan. I was probably monotone and uninteresting but it was a short song and people seemed to enjoy it. We also got up as a group and same Bohemian Rhapsody which was fun.

And we drank a lot. Hence, my first poo at my brother's house was the Beer Shits. Don't we all love beer shits?

And I always think of Charles Bukowski when I get beer shits because that's where I first heard the term. I didn't have a name for it before then. You might even say this blog exists because of Charles Bukowski. Hopefully that doesn't tarnish his reputation. But the truth is he spoke frankly about shit in his poems and that inspired me to write frankly about my shits. So it's simply a matter of fact.

The house is quite nice, plenty of room, although I had to clean up the basement a lot to make space for myself. Junk was kind of sprawled about. The bedroom seemed small, but then I turned the bed 90 degrees and pushed it against the wall and now I have enough room to work out a bit, so that's cool. My brother has a lot of junk because he gets a lot of free stuff due to the nature of his business (movie business). I'm going to suggest a yard sale in the spring/summer to get rid of some of it. The most puzzling thing about this place though is that there are tons of CDs, hundreds, maybe over a thousand CDs in all kinds of racks and cases, but I can't find a CD player anywhere. So strange.

I do believe that life here will be good, although it is further away from everything than where I was before. That'll just force me to plan things better though.

The Last Poo of an Era

This is to be the last poo I made in this house. I am moving tomorrow. I've been moving house steadily over the past two weeks and have made many poos, but today was my last exam and all I have left in my bedroom here in Little Italy is my bed, a dresser and a bookshelf. I've even moved my desk and the last bulky hangers on this morning.

Zipcar has been extremely good for my move. I've used their cars to move a lot of my crap over to my brother's place where I'll be living soon. This has been ideal because I really hate making multiple trips in a move and the marathon kinds of moves that drag out over an entire day. First I rented a Honda Fit which had a MADD sticker on it as sponsorship, which made it very affordable indeed. Then I got a Honda Element which was spacious but small so I wasn't uncomfortable driving it. I guess it has added up to a reasonably large sum of money, but it worked out the way I wanted it to so I'm pretty happy.

On saturday my dad is coming with his truck and we're going to move my bed and other large items over to my parent's house for some long term storage.

Anyway, so this is a pretty good last shit I'd say. Although I don't like it much when it's in the water the same time that it's in my asshole and then it flops forward as it breaks. Sometimes I think I can feel it brush through my pubic hairs (they're getting a little long)

Last Poo

This is possibly the last poo I will make at my current residence. I have been moving over the past week or two and will be completely gone by Saturday.

My roommate's friend needs a place to stay and my brother needs to rent his spare room, so it seemed like a good alignment. The timing is just a bit funny because tomorrow is my last exam, but that's why I've been moving slowly over the past few weeks.

Last week I took over a load of stuff, then on monday I cleaned up my brother's basement and made room for myself.  Thursday and/or friday I'll move more stuff over, then saturday I'll take everything that's not coming with me to my parent's house. It's all coming together quite nicely.

And I'm looking forward to living at my brother's house. The other night I was trying to get to sleep but the children downstairs were still up and running around at 10pm. It'll be quiet at my brother's place. And he has cable, which will be amazing. And laundry, so I won't have to take things to my girlfriend's place or the laundromat down the street.

In terms of poos I'm not sure how things will change. I might end up drinking more coffee, but I'm going to try not to. My biggest concern regarding groceries is that the closest store is a Sobey's, then there's a big Loblaw's a couple of blocks away from that. And in the other direction a few blocks is a Price Chopper. My beloved giant No Frills will be too far away I think, especially since there's another No Frills closer. But, this No Frills is at the Dufferin Mall and the bike parking there sucks, it's always busy and it's really small in comparison. But I guess I'll manage.

The Dark (K)Poo

The poos have been dark lately. Must be the coffee as previously discussed. It's the only substantial change to my diet in the last few weeks/months.

Anyhow, I'm really sorry but I did not photograph a poo I made earlier this evening. The thing is I did it at school, in a bathroom close to my class room, just before class began and I was afraid of the ramifications if I had been caught photographing it.

But it was delightful.

I had arrived to class early and I was sitting chatting with my friend but a dreadful amount of gas was putting pressure on my insides so I left to use the washroom. I knew I had to poo eventually, but thought I could wait until after class as long as I released some gas in the mean time. When I tried to fart, however, I felt there was a blockage, so I headed for a stall.

I quickly removed my pants and sat on the toilet before completely relaxing my sphincter to allow whatever was inside to escape. Like a pumpkin shot from a cannon a sizeable lump of shit and a great deal of gas exploded from my anus. It hit the water with a splash and I felt almost completely relieved of my stool. It was great, actually.

I knew there was more up there but for the time being I was felt satisfied and was able to return to the class in time for the lecture. When I got home from school I called my girlfriend and after that made the poo you see at the top of the page. I consider it to be of the same poo as my earlier event, which is why I've tagged this as a double.

A Long Poo Good-Bye

No, I'm not going anywhere! I just couldn't think of a better headline, and this one did take a while.

I've actually been shitting A LOT this weekend. or this past week. I've almost completely lost track of everything.

School has me very stressed out, I'm incredibly over-caffienated and my bowel movement, while very stable and solid, have been irregular in other ways. I don't know if I should really be using the term irregular.

Let me explain.

Let's say I wake up in the morning with a fair amount of time before I have to leave for school. In the past this would have been prime shittin' time but lately there has been no poo early in the morning.

Not so long ago if I had not pooed at home first thing in the morning I would usually poo when I got to school or after my first class. Lately, not so much.

In fact, for the past week or so I've found myself forced to defecate at any given moment. Usually it will have been brewing for some time but I'd be in class or working on something and it wouldn't have seemed urgent, but the last few days it's just been like: "Hey guys, how's it going. Oh, I've got to take a shit RIGHT NOW!" and off I'd go.

Also, in general the poo seem more firm, smaller, shorter (time length) and darker. And I think the only substantial change to my diet has been a switch from coke to coffee, and I've been drinking a lot of coffee lately.

So maybe all you folks who have been saying my poos look unhealthy because they aren't dark and firm just need to lay off the coffee a bit.

The Democratic Poorty

I'm actually quite glad and optimistic about Barack Obama's election, so I don't mean to make any associations between the democrats and a steaming pile of shit. You know me, I just like poo puns.

So I was at Sneaky Dee's at College and Bathurst last night enjoying some dinner and a few beers with a good friend, according to plans that did not take into account the US Election. Didn't even occur to me when we decided which day to meet up, but whatever. Dee's had CNN on the tv instead of sports, so that was cool.

The restaurant got a lot of spill over from Plaza Flamingo next door, which was the venue for the Democrats Abroad election party. Lots of Americans in this town apparently.

I wasn't planning on drinking too much or staying out too late, but the election made for pretty compelling television and my friend and I hadn't hung out for a while, so we shared two and a half pitchers while watching the events unfold.

When I got out to my bike I discovered my front light was missing. I blame the high concentration of Americans in the area. I'm joking. I'm sure it was just some assholes who thought it'd be cool to turn on the light and see how far they could throw it or something. Well, the joke was on them (I hope), because the batteries were almost dead and it was becoming increasingly difficult to turn on and off.

So this poo wasn't the first poo of the day. The first one was a good case of beer shits first thing in the morning, but you know how I've been cutting back on this blog. This poo was made while at school and man, did I take my time on it. Whoo! I didn't even realize what kind of a poo it was turning out to be until I had a look, and I was surprised so I thought I'd share it with you folks.

There was a ton of gas with this poo, loud gas, but not painful. As you can see most of the poos are pretty small and soft. I blame the beer and the coke I had to drink with lunch. Yes, I've been cutting down my Coke consumption but I still drink it here and there. Definitely not as much as I used to though.

A Stick Driven into Frozen Winter Shit

So it's cold out now. So far this blog has been written entirely during summer months. It's warm in the summer. It's cold in the autumn and winter. And that's where we are now in Toronto. It rained little beads of ice on me on my way home from school last night. My coat was covered in tiny white specks that quickly turns to wet dots of water.

But none of this has much to do with poo.

Or my absense all this time.

What has happened? I finished P90X has previously mentioned and took a month off from it. A month and a bit I guess. I continued to do push ups and pull ups though and my arms do seem noticeably stronger or defined. Now that I've restarted P90X I'm finding I have less energy to do it. Possibly because I'm actually doing other things during the day, specifically going to classes.

Speaking of which. I had a class trip to Philadelphia for a week. It was fun. My shits were pretty massive the whole time, possibly because of the giant free breakfast offered by the hotel every day coupled with easy access to delicious cheesesteaks. But I had to share a room with class mates so the click of the camera phone would be a little conspicuous. Sorry.

This is not the restart of regular blogging though, I'll still only be doing it once in a while, but I thought I'd check in and let you all know what's happening. 

Slacking off now

Well it's been a good summer. This will be my 112th post, almost all of which have included a photo of my poo. If you've noticed a pattern here, or a common theme, so have I, and to be honest I'm getting a little bored.

So I can't say that this will be my last post on I Poo Daily, but I probably won't post again unless I have something particularly interesting to share with you.

And who knows, if for some reason people actually start visiting this site perhaps I'll start posting on a regular basis again, but right now I kind of feel the way I did before I started this blog, like all my poos were just going down the drain. I've preserved some of them here, and I feel good about that, but you know, if a bear shits in the forest and nobody ever sees it, does it have a smell?

Alone

No, I don't feel alone at all. I didn't poo at all today until my girlfriend and I got home from her brother's birthday dinner. They're chinese, and I mean the family is chinese. My girlfriend and her brother would be happy to go to swiss chalet or something I'm sure but when grandma is there and dad and step-mom, it calls for a nice big chinese dinner.

So we headed out to North York, or wherever, to one of the many strip malls full of authentic chinese restaurants. It was packed!

This is not the kind of chinese restaurant that serves chicken balls and special fried rice, no way man, peking duck, dumplings, some kind of spicy deep fried pork chop, jellyfish (I ate Jellyfish!, it was crunchy in a strange way, completely different from what I ever expected jellyfish to be like and unlike anything else I've ever eaten).

It was great, lots of delicious food, but so greasy! I was really surprised that this poo was so small, I was expecting the entire evening's meal to just slide right out of me. Instead all I got was this little guy. Cute.

I see a theme here

The last couple of days have been pretty soupy, don't really know what to tell you. At least they're quick!

Encore!

This came pretty quickly after the last one, but as you can see there's not a lot of content there. A few little bits, mostly gas. I don't really know what's going on down there.

Vincent Gallo

Have you ever heard Vincent Gallo's album "When"? It's really really good, and the only reason I've heard it is because of my crazy dad.

My dad knew someone who's son had a radio show or something maybe. I don't know exactly. Anyhow, one day I came home to visit and he said there was a box of cds in the basement and I should have a look through and take whatever I want. There were a bunch of samplers and multiples of bad independently produced albums. There were a few that seemed maybe worth my time but the only one I listen to was what appeared to be a preview of Galo's "When".

I knew who Vincent Gallo was, I might have even known that he did some music, but I mostly just knew him from his movies, so this was of interest to me. I put on the cd and it was completely different from what I ever imagined her would create. I'm not a music guy so I'm not going to describe it except to say that it's a good album to listen to when you're lonely and sad and you've been up for the last 20 hours or more, drifting in and out of sleep and sobbing.

The Sequel

Last night I had a hefty shit pursuaded after a full day of nothing by a giant goat roti but after I finished I still felt a little, you know, shitty. Like maybe that wasn't all.

Now this is probably all roti, whereas the one last night was probably just the previous day's worth of food, but you know, I even considered posting the two together, they felt like part of the same shit.

Whatever, it was good.

Whoa, finally!

Didn't poo today until just now, 10:39pm. Yikes. My girlfriend thinks it's because I didn't have any coke today, but I think I had some yesterday, so I don't know if that really has anything to do with it.

Usually I poo in the morning and then if I don't then I poo in the afternoon. I was beginning to feel sheepish about my lack of movements until lying down for bed after a massively stuffing dinner.

Oh dinner. We got Roti from up the street. My girlfriend had the boneless chicken. I thought I'd try something new, so I got goat. It was great! It was huge, and my girlfriend didn't finish all of hers, so I did. Then I moaned and rolled around too full to be humble. Just as we were getting into bed I said, "Guess what! I haven't pooed today!" The girlfriend had a slightly concerned look. "But now I have to, yep, gotta go!" I gave her a kiss and turned out the light and went to the bathroom for a little while.

Almost done "Hyperion" by the way, like ALMOST FINISHED, it taking forever to get through the last story though, I haven't had much time for it. I can't wait! Unfortunately I have no idea when I might be able to read the next three books in the series. Sheesh.

The News - August 22, 2008

2.6 Billion People in the World don't have a safe place to Poop (with video)

Teen throws shit on Pregnant Woman in Walgreens, gets probation. Baby is okay.


Clear your mind by inhaling the fumes from burning Cow Dung


New trend in Cake design attracts flies


$1 Million for hog farmers who get energy from waste!

Parasite makes several sick through poo in pool

"Why won't my daughter Poop?" serious issue.

Chew gum after colon surgery to help the poops

Quarantine baby poop with new space-age product

There it is!

I knew it was up there somewhere. Wasn't a happy poo, but then I knew that would be the case. Actually, I'm kind of depressed in general today. It was probably the pound of Buffalo Wings washed down with a can of coke last night. Then I went and had a greasy slice of pizza from Bitondo's for lunch and washed that down with coke as well. Always a winning combination.

Piddly poop

My guts don't feel so great. They feel a little runny inside, but for some reason this was all I could squeeze out this morning. I don't think that's the end of it for today, but I kind of hope it is.

Beers. Shits.

I didn't realize while it was happening just how much shit was coming out of my ass, but I should have realized.

Last night was my friend R___'s birthday party at a nice restaurant/bar on Markham street. I had three pints of beer and (probably what tipped me into the shits) a Manhattan. At the end of the night other people were ordering martinis so I thought I'd get a Manhattan. It was tasty.

The shits didn't hit me right away in the morning, I guess because I wasn't too drunk the night before, even though I was a bit hung over with an unpleasant headache. Still, the shits waited until my headache was cleared up and I'd had a lot of water to drink. Maybe that was better.

Anyhow, the night before my girlfriend and I made chicken burritos and you can make out a yellow kernel of corn in the bottom right corner of that pile of shit. Apparently I should chew better.

Silver and Gold! And Bronze! and Poo!

Canada has finally won some medals! We won a gold in women's wrestling 48kg, a Bronze in women's wrestling 55kg and a Silver in men's pairs rowing! Hooray!

In other news I had this shit earlier in the day. Not too shabby eh?

The News - August 15, 2008

3 Million Chicken Factory Farm Fuels itself


Blogger's family chips in to clean up after young son poops everywhere


House-Sized inflatable Dog shit downs power lines in Switzerland


Poop Report asks, "Does Exercising Help You Poop?"


New York spa give $200 bird shit facials


New Toilet Incinerates your Waste

New York Fringe Festival Features "For Reasons Unknown" about a man who discovers a Poo in his apartment

(satire) How much does Michael Phelps poop?

Poo Tooth

I bought a bluetooth adapater for my PC so I can use my Wii controller with my computer to do stuff like this, and this.

Johnny Chung Lee is one of my new heroes, partly because he sounds like Kermit the Frog and partly because he's the from the golden age of invention. People like Theremin, Tesla or Marconi who just like to build stuff and make stuff work, aren't immediately concerned with making money off it, but basically just want to play.

So I haven't built my IR light pen yet, but I will soon. In the mean time I downloaded a program that allows me to use the Wiimote as a mouse and it seems to work really well. It's awkward and totally not practical but it's kind of fun.

Olympics

Been watching the Olympic Games with my girlfriend most mornings and evenings lately. We enjoy the games, we like it when people perform well, or beyond their previous best, so it's been a good games for that. Especially in Canada.

Seems like every Canadian athlete has beaten their personal best or beaten the Canadian record, but none of it is good enough to win a medal! Very disappointing. Apparently the best is yet to come though, so maybe we'll win something soon.

How many times have YOU crapped in your life?

I guess it's an odd thing to look at as an accomplishment, but this is my 97th post, including I think two or three no-photo posts, but also including several "double" posts, so I'd say I've got photos of about 100 shits on this blog.

And there's no way to avoid equating that with the fact that I have had over 100 bowel movements since I started this blog. I don't think that's something people think about very often. How many shits have you taken in your life? I can't answer that question for myself, but if you were to ask me how many shits have I taken in the last three months or so, I could easily tell you that it has been about 100.

My girlfriend could answer this question much more easily because she is an incredibly regular person. She shits every day at about 8:00 am. When she doesn't she gets worried. The last couple of days she has been a little worried. Somehow she forgot to take her pill on sunday, then on monday she didn't have to poo. Monday evening when she went to take her monday pill she realized she'd missed one so she took two. Tuesday morning she didn't have to poo. Could it be that The Pill makes not just your periods more predictable but also your shits?! Wednesday morning she pooed and was very happy about it. She also told me not to write about her ordeal. She also told me she doesn't read this blog, can't read this blog, won't read this blog. I'm okay with that. Nobody reads this blog.

But even if nobody reads this blog I will continue to post pictures of my poo. I don't have a goal in mind, this is an open ended project. I can't imagine why I'd stop. It's just so easy to do. So here's to another 100 poos, and a hundred more after that, and 1000 more beyond, ad nauseum.

POOr Choices

10:34am


7:17pm

We still don't have a cabinet in our bathroom, so we don't have a mirror, so my roommate has been using a small hand mirror and I have a somewhat larger mirror in my room (I stole this mirror when I worked for a framing store. There was a scrap piece of mirror that was sort of in between too small to keep and too big to throw out, so I stole a frame for it, put it together and brought it home. It's a few years old now) that I use.

I kind of had to poo all afternoon but couldn't really commit to the action. My face has been stubbly because I prefer to shave with my straight razor but because there's no mirror in the bathroom I try not to shower at my house and my girlfriend doesn't like the straight razor, etc, etc, so I was shaving with my electric razor in my bedroom when I felt like I really ought to poo.

So I took the razor into the bathroom and had a seat and started to shit. It wasn't until the first little log hit the water that I realized I'd left my cell phone in my bedroom. Well I finished what I was doing and wiped but, well I really didn't want to flush it away, and this new toilet is a little small to accomodate toilet paper while leaving a good view of the shit, so I wiped and carefully placed each of the three wads of toilet paper I used on the edge of the bathtub while I ran back to my room to get my camera phone.

Nobody who lives with me will be happy to hear about this, but I swear that the poo did not touch the tub, I was very careful about it. But I apologize, I should have realized sooner that my phone was in my bedroom.

Poo Knight

Finally saw Dark Knight this afternoon, in IMAX, with my girlfriend, exactly as I'd hope to see it.

My girlfriend wasn't 100% keen on seeing the movie at first and she really didn't give a shit if she saw it in IMAX or what, but because I "really really" wanted to she conceded and happened to finish work early this afternoon, so we decided to go (me being a bum it was not difficult to clear my schedule).

So it was great. It had problems with reality, asked you to make a couple of leaps in logic, but overall didn't ask too much and was plenty entertaining along the way.

The film's biggest fault is Christian Bale's Batman voice, or growl, or whatever you want to call it. I don't mind him having a husky, menacing Batman voice, but if it gets difficult to understand, you gotta scale it back, and when he's pleading with someone with a gun to a child's head, and it's a fairly emotional scene, you might expect Bruce Wayne's voice to peek through a crack here and there.

But whatever, it was epic, it didn't drag ever, and it was exciting.

Oh yeah, Heath Ledger. He was great too. I can't say Oscar though because what the fuck, he's playing a character, and he's clearly playing a "character". At one point during one of his diatribes I actually found myself wondering, "where did this guy come from?" What I mean is, we know why Batman is fucked up, we get to see why Two-Face is fucked up, but why the fuck is the Joker so fucked up? His stories about how he got his scars are different each time he tells it. Ledger makes him a very interesting character but unfortunately there's nothing there to discover. Maybe the Nolan brothers can tell us about what they had to cut for time in the DVD commentary.

Now on to the poo: Can't think of anything. Sorry.

News - August 11, 2008

Denver bans the carrying of Poo or Pee in anticipation of Democratic Convention

Blogger discusses how much better her poos have been since going Vegetarian

C. Defficile cured with Fecal Transplant Procedure

Pooing at the Olympics

Radioactive Seagulls? Crap.

Police search for couple who smeared baby shit and pizza on motel room walls

Incense from Moose Poop. Wonderful.

Dead Batteries

I've been feeling really low energy lately. Just don't feel much like doing anything, including p90x, although I have been doing that.

It's been tough though, especially to get through the really unpleasant workout like plyometrics and yoga. Even legs and back is too much for me. And this is supposed to be my last week. I'm starting my last recovery week today, but I don't know if I'm going to actually do any of it. I feel kind of lazy.

It's my diet, I know. I don't eat well, I don't even think about what I put in my mouth most of the time. Lately there's been not a LOT of coke, but more coffee. Eggs, ham, cheese, and then snacks here and there. Lots of granola bars, that sort of thing.

I have to say though, even if I haven't been following the diet very well p90x has made a huge difference in my body. My arms look pretty serious and my abs are honestly a little washboard like. I put on a tight white tank top of my girlfriend's yesterday and finally saw my physique without all that body hair in the way. I'm impressed! Still really slender of course, leaner than I'd like to be, but definitely in the ball park I've been working towards, which is VERY encouraging. I was actually feeling like my results weren't much, but I can't really SEE anything through my bodyhair. It's funny.

Books

I finally finished Rant by Chuck Palahniuk, am soldiering on through Hyperion and have picked back up Jack The Ripper: First American Serial Killer.

Rant is not a long or difficult book, but when you mostly only read while on the toilet it can take a while to get through something. Rant is an interesting book, funny and clever with an interesting vision of the future, although a future that would require many unusual and unlikely things to occur. Worth reading, especially if you like Palahniuk.

Hyperion is great but it's taking me a while to get through it. The format is a little tedious, the individual stories of something like 7 people all visiting the planet of Hyperion in order to get to the bottom of what The Time Tombs are, and The Shrike and how to solve their individual problems. But, the stories are so damn good you rarely have that nagging voice in your head asking, "when's the damn STORY going to start?!" which I get a lot when reading something in this format.

Jack the Ripper: First American Serial Killer compiles a lot of police reports, coroner's inquests, newspaper articles and other archival material to make the case that Jack the Ripper was American. It's really dry, but pretty fascinating and gruesome. I especially enjoy reading it in the park with little children running about.

the long and short of it, plus Pinapple Express

1:32am


1:18pm

In Montreal Pineapple Express is called Anana Express. This was one of the delights of the city we discovered on our trip a couple weeks ago.

Went to see it with my girlfriend last night. It was funny! It was a lot better than the reviews said, although it is purely stupid. It's not a SMART comedy by any stretch. I don't know what Eye magazine was expecting. Too much apparently because I thoroughly enjoyed it. And I don't even smoke pot. I've never even been high. Whatever. Go see it and laugh, don't try to analyze it.

In pooing news, I pooed as soon as we got home from the movie. It felt like it would be more, but it was just a decent long one, followed twelve hours later by an unpleasant little explosion of shit.

Lately my diet has followed nothing resembling a pattern and thus, neither have my poos.

Olympic Crap

Watched a good chunk of the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Bejing. Pretty impressive. Lots of people. Haven't got much to comment on. I always enjoy the Olympics, the summer Olympics more than the winter ones, just because it's warmer and doesn't generally pre-empt favourite television programming.

Unfortunately the commercials make me want McDonald's, which isn't a good thing.

Skip a day, easy poo anyway

I didn't poo yesterday. I really thought I would have to, but I didn't.

The other night I ate the greasiest calzone of my life. Calzones are probably supposed to be greasy, since they're made with just cheese and sauce, but man, this was squishy!

I got it from Bitondo's, which happens to be just around the corner from my house (and is pretty famous for cheap, huge greasy pizza slices of just one variety) and it was already something like 10pm. I was ridiculously stuffed and greasy feeling after, and not particularly happy with myself. I kind of expected to wake up and have to take a monster shit right away... but I didn't. I didn't poo all day. I was starting to get concerned, but whatever. I knew it would happen eventually, and it did!

Man, now I want one of those fucking calzones again. Bastards!

Catch-Up

10:46am


4:41pm

Well it looks like all the coke and beer from the weekend caught up to me... with a splash. Although the poutine on Monday night probably didn't help.

Went to Utopia on college street for what is hailed as one of the best orders of poutine in the city (runner up to The Blue Chip Truck in front of Nathan Philips Square). It was a good poutine, tasty gravy, real curds, etc. The fries though, they were a little tough. Like they'd been fried, sat around for a long time and then fried again. Or maybe a few times. I don't know. They weren't frozen, pretty sure of that, but they were tough. Hard to describe.

And before the poutine I finished off some left over ribs from the weekend so I was really stuffed. Funny how your poo can look like what you ate, eh? Cheese Curds anyone?

Also: Found another poo blog. I guess I have some competition. If I was an outside observer I think I'd still prefer I Poo Daily to Daily Poo Poo though. See, GI Poo understands that people don't really want to get up close and personal with other people's shits, that's why he continues to use his cheap cell phone camera, he mostly prefers the fuzzy, kind of out of focus poo pictures. They're more abstract that way, leave a little to the imagination. Y'know?

It funny how similar our blogs are though. I suggest you read us both!

Pooing in Suburbia Part 3

Last poo of the weekend!

My girlfriend came out on the train on Sunday to meet my aunt and have some relaxing cable television. It was great to see her after two days without her. We're so in love!

My mom made pancakes and bacon for lunch, but a reasonable amount, unlike last time, then for dinner my dad smoked a few racks of ribs and bbq'd some corn on the cob. It was pretty damn good, although the ribs kind of just tasted like ham, and they didn't have any sauce at all. Not dry though and still yummy so there's no complaints.

Suburban Chinese Food (not Markham)

So I felt a little stranded for dinner Saturday night. My parents were out entertaining my aunt in Toronto and I was stuck in the suburbs with no food in the house. Okay, there might have been some eggs, maybe some bread, flour, etc. But nothing that jumped out at me as food. Cooking doesn't really seem like an option when I'm visiting my parents, so yeah, I felt kind of abandoned.

So I ordered Chinese Food. I ordered kind of a lot. I don't know why, I guess I just wanted some variety. There's a place called Mr. Wok's next to the convenience store a 15 minute walk from my parents house. It sounds like a franchise, but it isn't, and it doesn't look like one either. i don't know what they're going for, but whatever.

It was greasy and not very good anyway. That's probably my fault. I should have just gotten the sweet and sour chicken balls and special fried rice, but I had to get fancy. I got chicken chow mein, sweet and sour spare ribs and chicken fried rice, with egg rolls and fortune cookies. Pretty adventurous.

Pooing Back Home part 1

9:34am


12:53pm

Well the first poo of the weekend looked pretty good to me, but the next one gave me some concern. On friday I had a coke and a pizza slice for lunch and then a beer or two and some more coke, then I went out with a friend to Don Cherry's and ate a big hamburger covered in cheese and jalapenos, with a big glass of coke of course. Lunch today consisted of some chips, maybe a small bowl of cereal. Not a good pattern to set for the weekend, but there it is.

News - August 1, 2008

Human Feces on the Beach

A private beach in Topeka Kansas may have been the target of a fecal prank as numerous logs of human crap washed up on the shore. Irresponsible and disgusting if it was indeed a prank, but it may also have been the result of overwhelmed water treatment facilities.

Angry Black Protestors "Feces Bomb" Houston buildings and Cars

According to this article there's something of a trend in civil disobedience going on in the states. People are throwing, smearing and other depositing their poos on the property of people or organizations they don't aggree with. I find it rather telling however that the article says it's something black people do and that the practice started in prisons. Just sayin' it's not necessarily black folks doing it.
(in a related story: Vandals throw feces, deface Middle Smithfield Pizzeria)

Animal Feed Factory want to be powered by Turkey Poo

...but nearby residents are worried that it will smell. Why does this always come up? Do they think the people who work there want to smell turkey shit all day? Put simply in the article 'you can't burn wet, smelly shit and it won't be out in the open anyway" so get over it.

BC Gas Company wants to take advantage of Human Waste

This project will burn gas produced in the treatment of sewage to produce electricity, sounds a lot better than just dumping it in the ocean, eh Victoria, BC?

Back at the PooRents

I'm spending a few days at my parents house. My aunt is visiting and a friend of mine wants to work on a creative project together.

I don't expect to eat well and it's more than likely that I will be posting my pictures some days after the trip so I won't be able to remember a whole bunch.

I suppose if I really try I'd be able to remember what I ate, so who knows.

Rather Menacing

Something unsettling about this photo. It looks a little distorted, possibly by the water. Has the feel of a David Lynch image maybe.

This poo arrived just as I got settled into a study room at the library at school. I was planning on spending the day reading through books about natural wastewater treatment processes and sustainable community design but as soon as my laptop finished booting up I felt a sudden need to shit. I had to pack everything up again and head to the bathroom.

It came out very easily, maybe too easy. It was very soft, not sure what that was owing to.

makes me feel kind of sick

Beer shits.

Went out with a couple of friends last night, had some beers, came home, hit the sheets and fell asleep. Woke up with a headache but not feeling horribly hung over. Crapped out this load of floaters just for you.

And just so you know, even I'm not always in love with looking at this pictures okay? Yuck.

Just another poo

Is the novelty wearing off? Maybe a little bit. Sometimes I look down between my legs at the end of a poo and think, "do I really need to take a picture of this to post on the internet?" Usually my response to myself is "yes" because I don't have much else going for me right now. No other schedule, no other obligations. The fact that nobody reads this blog doesn't deter me of course. Why would it?

As typical as this poo is it really is only typical in its atypicality. It is as unique as all my other poos.

no more coke PLEASE

8:47am


2:38pm

I know, nobody is forcing me to drink all this coke all the time. So it's up to me to stop. I think I can do it, well, I can cut back a whole bunch anyway. Last semester I had the idea of buying cases of coke from the grocery store near school and leaving it in my locker. I'd get lots of icoke points for each of those, it would save me money, it would prevent me from having coke at home and it would not be refrigerated so it wouldn't even be very tasty or anything. Easy to resist I figure. But as soon as I thought of that I started thinking of ways to refrigerate my locker. So clearly I am addicted.

Rock bottom in terms of coca-cola addiction is hard to define, but here's a hint: This morning I got out of bed and stood in front of the toilet for a piss. I felt a fart coming on so I squeezed a little. It was being finicking so I reached back and pulled one butt cheek to the side. The fart that resulted was wet and sloppy. It was gross. I thought it was like that from sweat, my ass gets very sweaty, but I instantly realized there was a poo up there behind the gas, so I sat down and squeezed out a little plop. it wasn't much and I was unprepared so there's no photograph. This worst part of this story though is what I discovered once I'd sat down on the toilet. There on the floor between my feet was a phlegmy looking ass loogie (I don't know what else to call it). You know when your shit is really runny and it's difficult to call it solid? It was a little sample of that. I guess it came out of my ass when I farted. Made me feel a little sick to my stomache. I didn't tell my girlfriend about it, but I suppose she might read about it now. Sorry honey. I cleaned it up though.